Patches...I'm dependin' on you son...

...well, my pain patch, that is.  Last week, my pain management doctor gave me a pain patch prescription.  He did warn me that there would be a snafu with the insurance company, and there is.  So, still waiting on that.


It has been rough, overall, for a while now.  Lately, I have crumbled with surprisingly (even to me) little exertion.  Yesterday, I felt like I had enough life in me to play around in the kitchen.  I decided to make a homemade roasted eggplant pizza.  (it was so delicious, I'm tacking the recipe on at the end of this post) Once the pizza dough was rising, I started to think of what else I could make with yeast, so I dove back in to make cinnamon buns.  Believe me, I know that it is the last thing I need.  For some reason, I just felt like cooking...and, I really do enjoy it. 


By my standards, it was a lot of in and out of bed, and back and forth to the kitchen, for the different stages of these two recipes.  I knew batter..I mean better, but did it anyway.  By the time the pizza came out of the oven, I was way beyond my breaking point.  I was insanely sick last night and this morning. It was absolutely horrible.  I have so many symptoms, many that cannot be helped with my son "Patches", or any other medication.  Anyway, one of my most miserable symptoms is that creepy, eerie feeling like my muscles are decomposing from the inside out.  It is the worst.  I had to put the TV on this morning, just for a distraction.  Otherwise, I think I would have snapped. Bad, bad day today.


Since I love cooking so much, I've been spending a lot of time in bed looking up new recipes for Easter.  Ryan is having Easter at his house this year, but I would still like to cook, cook, cook.  I called Ry earlier and started out by telling him all the different dishes that I would like to make.  As I was talking, I was thinking to myself how sick I was today...from COOKING.  By the end of the call, I basically told Ryan that I take it all back, I'll make one thing.  (Erica...remember taking Poor Ryan to Wawa...or was it Wendy's???)  I giveth and taketh away...  In the end, I knew that what I would like..no, make that, love to do, and what I could do are two completely different things. 


I'm going to have to cut this short.  It is hard typing when feeling as sick as I do...my brain isn't working and I am backspacing every other word to retype and retype again.  Also, I have been having a newer issue called transient paralysis.  It sounds worse than it is. Basically, my hands freeze up from time to time.  It is momentary, but for some reason it is worse than ever right now. It is too hard typing with my hands freezing up.


Thank God for copy/paste...


Eggplant Pizza....SO DELICIOUS!!

• 
  
  • 1 large eggplant (1 1/4 pound)
  • About 3 tablespoons olive oil
  
  For dough 
  • 1 (1/4-ounce) package fast-acting yeast
  • 2/3 cup warm water (110-115°F.)
  • 1 2/3 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 2 tablespoons olive oil
  
  
  • 3 ounces grated mozzarella (3/4 cup)
  • 3/4 ounces grated Asiago or Parmesan (1/4 cup)
  • 2 tablespoons olive oil
  • 2 tablespoons minced garlic
  • 1/2 teaspoon dried hot red pepper flakes..it's spicy with the red pepper flakes, but we like spicy food.  You can adjust to your taste.

preparation

Broil eggplant:
Cut eggplant into 1/3-inch-thick rounds and arrange in 1 layer on a foil-lined large baking sheet. Lightly brush both sides with oil and season with salt. Broil 2 to 3 inches from heat until golden brown and tender, 3 to 8 minutes on each side.

Make dough:
Dissolve yeast in warm water. Blend flour and salt in a food processor. Add oil and blend. With motor running, add yeast mixture all at once, blending until dough forms a ball. Knead dough on a lightly floured surface 5 minutes. Put in an oiled large bowl and turn to coat. Let rise, covered with plastic wrap, in a warm place until doubled in bulk, 1 to 1 1/4 hours. While dough is rising, put a pizza stone on lowest rack of oven (remove other racks) and preheat oven to 500°F.

Dust dough with flour on a floured surface, then shape and stretch into a 12- to 13-inch round. Sprinkle a baker's peel generously with flour and carefully transfer dough to it. Jerk peel; if dough sticks, lift it and sprinkle flour underneath.

Assemble pizza:
Toss together cheeses and sprinkle 1/4 over dough. Cover with eggplant, overlapping it, and sprinkle with remaining cheese. Heat oil in a small skillet over moderate heat until hot but not smoking, then cook garlic and red pepper, stirring, until just fragrant, 30 to 40 seconds. Spoon evenly over eggplant.

Line up far edge of peel with far edge of stone and tilt peel, jerking it gently. When edge of pizza touches stone, quickly pull back peel to transfer to stone (do not move pizza) and bake until dough is crisp and browned, 12 to 15 minutes. Slide peel under pizza to remove from oven.

Feeble attempt at blogging...

Today, I had two appointments in Miami.  UGH, I was dreading this day since I scheduled the visits. The first was with a new pain management specialist.  He was the best. There are so many people abusing prescription pain medication, that even pain management specialists are hesitant to write prescriptions.  Usually, they need to see an X Ray, MRI, etc.  This guy was great!  He believed  what I was telling him, and really seemed to care.  PHEW!!  If he questioned me, I think I would have cried.  He is taking over my Vicodin prescription (my immunologist is no longer permitted to prescribe it, due to insurance reasons).  I explained to him that I am in pain, to some degree, almost every minute of the day.  In most cases, I do not take pain medication until I am about to the point of tears.  I was thrilled when he said that he was also prescribing a pain medication in the form of a patch.  He said that it should relieve  most of my pain throughout the day.  At times when I still need more, I can take the Vicodin too.  I will get it tomorrow and cannot wait to see how it works. Taking away the pain is so great, but unfortunately, there are still so many debilitating issues I deal with daily that it won't put me back in the game.  I'll just be more comfortable ~ which is a bonus.  Hopefully, it will be effective.  

The second appointment wasn't quite so smooth.  This appointment was with my immunologist.  I  have to say that I am not 100% convinced that I should be seeing her.  It is funny because my neurologist referred me to her, then the following time I saw him, he wasn't so keen on the idea....agreeing with me that she has me pegged wrong.  SO tired of the doctors contradicting each other and themselves..ALWAYS!!!!!    It was an awkward, funky appointment.  

Dr. Rey has just left the University of Miami and is now in her new location.  She is in the process of getting the insurance situation set up.  This appointment could have been put off for months.  We only had to go over my blood work.  So, when setting it up, the receptionist told me that they were not set up for accepting insurance yet and what I thought she said, was that there would be a $69 charge.  When I was paying, she told me it was $269.  I must have misunderstood the receptionist on the phone, but I can't tell you how mad I was at myself.  Waiting for her insurance to be in place, wouldn't have been a problem.  It certainly was not important enough to pay $269....whatever...

On the way home, I thought of two very important questions that I had for her.  I don't know how I forgot to ask them while I was there...whatever...

I do have to tell you about a couple that was in the waiting room with me today.  I'll never deny that I feel sorry for myself, from time to time...privately.  My experience in the waiting room today was like having a bucket of ice water thrown in my face.

It was a man that was approximately seventy, with his fifty-seven year old wife.  They had brought his sister to her appointment.  The entire time I was sitting there, his wife was talking endlessly and it was obvious that she had some type of mental problem.  That alone, made me feel bad.  For some reason, he started talking to me.  I think he felt like he had to explain her behavior, which of course, he did not.  His story absolutely broke my heart.

When his wife was in her mid forties, she was diagnosed with Alzheimers.  UGH ~ I felt so sick and so sorry for this poor man.  He was the sweetest guy. I asked him if he has help at home and he said that he did not.  This woman is so far gone and advanced with this disease.  He cannot take his eyes off of her for a second.  She was bilingual, but no longer remembers English. I asked if she watches TV and he said no, but he would like to.  He cannot since she talks incessantly.  I never knew that nonstop chatter was a symptom of Alzheimers.  She literally never stops.  He said that there is help available for people in his position, help coming in to the house, etc.  Unfortunately, both he and his wife are on social security and they are considered to have too high of an income to qualify for the help....such a joke.  He was also saying how hard it is for him, just to keep her expensive adult diapers stocked.  His car is always equipped with anything they might need in an emergency, since she has to be with him if he has to leave the house.  If only I could go to his house and sit and talk with him and give him an outlet to vent....on the other hand, I guess the last thing he would want is another talker stopping by...Oooohh, I hated to see them leave without offering to help them in some way....just broke my heart...and, I was ashamed for all the times I had sung the blues. I cannot get them out of my mind.  It is people like this, that I would love to help in some way.

Jimmy and I went to Big Bear for salads tonight.  I couldn't cook after coming home from Miami.  Big Bear is next door to the best hair colorist....ever!  When we were walking to the car, I noticed that Lou's lights were still on.  Being sick, I haven't been back to see him in almost three years :(.....I knocked on the door and caught him before he left the salon.  I love Lou!!!  It was such a huge treat to see him and give him a big hug, then another, then another...such a happy surprise!!!  Sooooo.....

...this day had highs and lows, which is better than no highs at all!  I'm really not doing good, but wanted to write about today....the good, the bad and the ugly hair.

Good Night Gracie~ 

Road Trip...

I'm sitting in the waiting room of my neurologist's office, at the University of Miami. These appointment days are always so hard, physically. I dread them!!!! Tomorrow I have to come back for two more appts, it will be horrible.


Okay, I need some birthday candles to blow out, because I have some wishes. First, I wish doctors made house calls, preferably at the same time so they could "discuss" and stop contradicting each other. If I get a second cake/wish, then I would love to go to my appt's in a chauffeur driven limo, with plenty of space to put my legs up and my head down......


....... Okay, the doctor called me in and abruptly pulled me from my birthday candle daydreaming. I'm now home in bed... Hallelujah!!!!!!!!!!! Can I hear an AMEN?!?!?!?!


Today was such a bad physical day for me. Having to do the Miami trek was the worst ... unfortunately, I think tomorrow will trump today. I am too weak and in too much pain to walk more than room to room in our house. The extra walking at UM was just too much. My balance was horrible and my legs got so heavy, it was hard to put one foot in front of the other. I have to say that my neurologist's office is the one place where others do not assume I am drunk/drugged, because we are all in the same boat....the Titanic... J/K... Tom Sawyer's raft...


I usually don't go in to too much detail about my appt's, but in thinking of all the sick readers of this blog, I'll throw some current information out there. Every once in a while, I think it is good to open up about my issues ... considering that this is what the blog is about. Like I have said in previous posts, I want the chronically ill to know that I do identify with them.


As sick as I am today, it was a good appointment and worthwhile. I have many issues, but this neurologist is only focusing on my leaking spinal cord fluid. Once he gets a handle on this, he is going to get back to the MS concerns, with the elusive lesions that are needed for a diagnoses. The suspected MS component is by far the least of my concerns....both regarding symptoms and the fact that there is no treatment for PPMS. It can take a really long time to be diagnosed, especially since they are thinking primary/ progressive MS. At this point, I do not have an MS diagnosis and my other issues are more concerning. We'll get that figured out eventually.


I was under the impression that the leaking fluid was not a concern (this is where my son Chris would say "and you got your medical degree from where????") anyhooooo, my doctor said that he suspects I am leaking a good amount. Still not being concerned, he then told me that it can kill me....whaaat??? Okay, he now had my attention. He said that if my brain isn't sitting in the fluid, it could rupture arteries around my brain and some other things. I do know that people can leak fluid and never know it or have problems.  Guessing my doctor is basing his concern on my test results and symptoms.



I have a few more tests to do, then it would be on to the neurosurgeon.. ..draaaaaging my feet...literally and figuratively.



Back to the spinal cord fluid issue.  My doctor said that he has another patient with the exact symptoms as me, with the exception that she has to be brought in to her appointments on a stretcher...UGH!!!  He did say that this is a postural issue.  So, along with my autonomic dysfunction which causes my blood to drop to my legs when I am vertical, my csf leaks also occur when I am upright. 




This has shifted to priority for now. I am having a special MRI, which would measure the fluid around my brain. Also, he will be looking for MS lesions at the same time. I was surprised that this MRI, of only the brain, will take close to two hours :(. I have had countless MRI's over the years I am so beat up by the time the test is done. In the past, any lasting longer than an hour, would have been for more than one area. My problem is lying perfectly still for such a long time... It destroys my muscles and I have to be helped back to the dressing room...even though I pre-medicate with Vicodin and Xanax.


Tomorrow, I have an appointment with my immunologist, which is another major contributing factor to my overall poor health, due to my seriously compromised immune system. We have a ton of blood work to go over. This will be an important appointment too. Immediately following is an appointment with a new pain management specialist.


I can't believe how many details I am leaving out. I think if I really delved in to all that is happening to me medically, you would all think ... Really?????? No, reeeeaalllyy????? I can never list it all in one post, because it really is hard to believe.....so, wanting to appear credible, I will give snippets from time to time.


As most of you know, I have a second, more private blog. I limited it to those that are also very ill, as well as others that have been to hell and back for various reasons. I loved going to that blog on the rare occasions that I really needed to let it all hang out. It was a great, safe place to talk about things that I wasn't comfortable talking about on this blog. Unfortunately, I found that it popped up, simply from googling my name. Not feeling so safe anymore, I deleted all the posts. It was entirely too personal to be so public. I might start it again with a fictitious name.. Cathy Springsteen perhaps???? 


I'd like to think of something that I am grateful for, before signing off. The hard part is picking just one! I'd have to say that it would be the super fun third birthday party for my sweet Gabby! It was the best and we all had a great time!!! The kids are too precious for words - little bundles of love! A nice thing about writing this blog is that I wouldn't have otherwise stopped to think of something to be grateful for today... :)


Even though I am writing this in bed, this is still too much. If I can, I'll write tomorrow after my appointments.


Hoping there is a limo outside tomorrow, to drive me back to Miami...


If you know my mom, please don't mention my blog to her....thanks..not even that I'm still writing...very important to me..


.

Blast From The Past..

Last night we had the best time...screaming laughing best time!!  For those who know me, you would also know my friends Rick and Debbie.  Deb had to come down for business in South Beach and we got together last night.  It was electric I tell 'ya, it was electric!!! (in my Regis voice)  Rick and I met the summer between fifth and sixth grade down Long Beach Island, and have been friends ever since.  Debbie came on the scene when I was sportin' my painter's pants in 1975, also down the shore.  I haven't seen Rick in approximately five years and it has been two for Deb.  


We went to one of our favorite restaurants.  It is very close to our house, which is always a help.  I really didn't want to bring my transformer wheel chair, but after a short while, Jimmy brought it in.  Excuse me, in case Rick is reading this, I meant to say SAINT Jimmy...I'm happy I didn't marry a guy named Bernard!  The chair was worth its weight in gold and completely saved the night.  I was able to fully recline.  Without it, there would have been a tearful ending to a short visit.  It was still a tearful ending, but for different reasons.  Unfortunately, when it was time to say good bye, it was really time. Those that know Rick and Debbie would understand how insanely fun last night was, and for those that don't, there are no words.  I am so happy :)


Back to my regularly scheduled blog....Last week, I was talking to my friend, Marie.  Marie broke her back in December.  Since then, she has been in horrible pain.  The verdict is still out on how much improvement she can expect.  We are hoping for some good news this week.  Even though it has been just a few months, she has been dealing with many of the same issues that I have been going through for the last seven years.  She finds it unbearable to be in so much pain and having to spend endless time in bed.  Marie is unable to continue working and can't imagine living this life, if that is what lies ahead. It is like her life, as she knew it, has vanished and couldn't find a glimmer of light.


I was so happy that we talked about all of this.  Needless to say, I understood every single word she was saying.  It is unimaginably surreal....unimaginable.  While she was saying that she wouldn't want to live this life, I dug down deep to think of special moments that are magnified so much more, when living this chronically ill life.   It is kind of like a blind person having a stronger sense of hearing.  While being chronically ill, and expecting nothing but the same day after day, the occasional bright spots, are so, so much brighter than if we weren't sick.  I was telling Marie that it could be as simple as fraction of a second laugh out loud moment.  


A few years ago, I was in bed watching "Everybody Loves Raymond".  Something funny was said and I "laughed out loud"...alone in my room....looking around, wondering where that laugh came from...couldn't have been me...or was it?!?!?  Hey, I laughed out loud and it felt AMAZING!  I'm sure it was a rough time for me, but that sudden burst of laughter was like opening a valve to release the pent up pressure and sadness.  It was just perfect!  Now, that was just a TV show....you can only imagine how I feel when I see my adorable grandchildren!!   Tack on Rick and Debbie after so many years...WOO HOO! 


I posted a week or two ago, after Jimmy and I went to Bonefish Macs for dinner.  For some reason, when we go out to dinner, sitting across from each other talking, I always end up crying. I guess it takes being out of the house for me to open up.  Anyway, I was really depressed.  We were seated outside, and a woman that was seated next to us lit up a cigarette.  In the middle of the water works, I couldn't help but laugh.  I had seen an episode of "Cheers" earlier that day, and there was a funny scene between Woody and a customer that was smoking..."Cheers" is hysterical!  Now, that was an instance where I was soooo low...limbo low...and that sudden thought of Woody, of all people, turned my mood completely around.  It happens without warning, just be assured that it will happen again and again.  In fact, I could use someone to remind me of this now and then too.


Anyway, I completely get it and understand how chronically ill people just don't want to face another day.  I feel that way often myself.  Luckily, there are intermittent moments, or hours of the valve being released.  I guess we have the one up on well people...they don't know just how sweet the sweet moments are...hoping I don't have cavities...


My friend Vicki asked me to discuss days that she refers to as "grieving days"...which are kind of the flip side to what I have been talking about tonight.  Nonetheless, they are real and valid.  I'll write about that next time.


Wishing my sick friends a laugh out loud moment today...


Last, but not least...

HAPPY, HAPPIER, HAPPIEST BIRTHDAY TO 

DINA GINGY ELLEN

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Words With Friends...

...oh, and I love playing Words With Friends.  I've had an especially rough time lately, and I have to say that playing WWF has been a lifesaver.  It is such a fun distraction.  When I am playing, I get so in to it that I forget about the things that are so upsetting.  For the most part, I have been having marathons with my son Phil and his wife Laura, along with my great friend that I never met, Marie.  Marie even played with me, while on vacation in Hawaii...that was funny.  I get completely in the zone .... my twilight zone...so much fun. 

I have been having such a hard time physically/emotionally lately.  Last night, against my better judgement, we went to a Key Westy type of restaurant, near the beach.  It is the kind of place that makes me feel like I just flew down from PA to have dinner with the rest of the tourists.  I love the vibe!  Anyway, I wasn't up to making dinner and was thinking we would just order in.  Jimmy brought up Bonefish Macs and I (pun intended) took the bait.  

At first, it was great, since we sat outside and the weather was absolutely beautiful.  Before long, I knew I should have stuck with my gut feeling and stayed home.  UGH....then came the water works.  This scenario happens almost every time we go out to eat.  On one hand it is so great to be out of the house, enjoying the beautiful weather and fresh air, then on the other hand, it gets so depressing when I begin to dive.

It is funny, because I posted that I was at this place on FB.  I had never done that before, but thought "hhhmmm, I'm someplace...and, I'm telling everyone".  I was surprised to see some comments and "likes" under the FB post. It made me laugh!  Carol Schaeber said to have a dark beer for her...the funny thing is that I did have a very dark beer....diet root beer to be exact.  I wasn't feeling well enough to have a drink drink.  Laurie's and Gina's posts mentioned having drinks too....I'm such a dud these days.  So, my friends, that is why when I am out and feeling pretty good, I make up for lost time and order a Long Island Iced Tea :)

While I was there, and diving, I could feel my head fill up with pressure.  So intense!  It was either from leaking spinal cord fluid or my autonomic issue, which causes the blood from my brain, heart and lungs to drop to my legs when I am vertical.  The pressure was heavy and unlike a headache.  Once we got in the car, I had to recline the seat.  I was wishing I could stand on my head.  Just having the seat reclined, I could feel things shift in my head.

Going out is bittersweet. I am just going through a phase where I am so sick of it all.  It is unbearable being shackled to this house...I wish I could find the words or an analogy to really describe what this life is like.  However, I feel like I can't write the previous sentence without saying that I know there are so many that are much, much worse off than I am....I have to keep it in perspective.

I am so ridiculously behind in returning phone calls and keeping in touch with all the amazing friends I have accumulated in my life.  It is yet another horribly frustrating aspect of my mess.  Feeling so sick, I cannot pick up the phone and sound at all like myself...or what myself used to sound like.  When I do, I call.  For those that I catch up with once in a blue moon, I know that I do sound like my old self.  That is the reason I call at those times, and those times only. Other than that, I am living in a heavy brain fog, with insane fatigue and a big fat ETC, ETC, ETC...  You all know who you are, and I am so sorry that I have been off the radar.  

I'm happy to say that I don't have any doctor appointments this coming week. My to do list consists of birthday shopping for my unbelievably adorable little Gabby (no, she wasn't named after me)...she is going to be three this month. Such a cuddly little dollbaby...my Gabby!  I'm happy I am ending on such a sweet note...now I can look forward to sweet dreams....good night... 

THIS JUST IN.... my playlist is playing Adele's "Someone Like You", which is one of Gabby's favorite songs.  I babysat for Gabby and Maks (1 1/2 yrs.) one afternoon last week.  Gabby wanted to  play this song on my phone.  We were on the sofa and Maks was molded in to my body on my left side and Gabby was doing the same on the right side.  I was singing along as loud as I could and they were singing with me...we were laughing and singing, they were staring in to my eyes, and Gabby was singing with her nose touching mine....it was a precious Kodak moment that I won't ever forget...uh oh, here come the tears again....but sweet, happy tears.... XO to Mimi's angels..

  

Oh my nerves...

..in less than an hour, I have to leave for my interview with Debbie, the designer.  Right now, I am in the process of trying to make myself look remotely human and alive...I need Tom Cruise for this mission.  This is a job in itself...and, unfortunately will wear me down before I even leave the house.  Hmmm, I wonder if she would consider me creative if I show up wearing a mask???? Maybe she'll like me for thinking outside the box..or in my case, outside the face.


Anything can happen at this interview.  Debbie and I will both be charting new territory.  So, we'll see......


Back to the make-up...and I swear, there has to be a mask around here somewhere......


Frank Sinatra is singing "Lovely" on my playlist.  Wow, you should hear all the nice things he is telling me..."lovely, never ever change...keep that breathless charm...."  Darn, I wish he was interviewing me today.....

Adrenaline...

...LOVE IT!!!  Adrenaline has gotten me through some really special times and I am so grateful when if officially kicks in...once it hits, I know I am good (enough) to go.  How long it will last, is anyone's guess.  I was so psyched for our thirtieth anniversary, that I was POSITIVE it would pull me through.  Shockingly, it didn't and I ended up having to lie on the booth at the amazing restaurant we went to. It was so upsetting that I couldn't last the length of the meal.  Other times, it can kick in and surprise me for the duration.  Tonight was one of those times.


Today, we went to my niece, Melissa's, 27th birthday party.  Melissa is so special to me, that I knew I had to be there, and that the adrenaline would have to kick in to get me through.  Melissa is adorable and I couldn't be happier that we were able to spend her special day with her.


It has been a hellish month, physically....which then rolls over in to emotionally. Very hard and discouraging.  For the past week or so, I knew Melissa's party was coming up and I was convinced that I would make it.  Today was the day and I could feel that I would be able to handle it. 


As it turned out, we were there for a really long time.  Much longer than I would have thought possible.  Granted, I was sitting the entire time, but usually that isn't enough to buy me a lot of time.  It was a beautiful Florida night and we were all outside.


I loved catching up with everyone.  Such a departure from my normal day to day/week to week. Too accustomed to the solitude. I feel the need to apologize to everyone I talked to, because looking back, I was doing all the yacking!  UGH...that's what happens after spending so much time alone.  


I spent a long time catching up with Gina, my former sister-in-law. It was so great spending time with her.  We managed to talk about everything, and it was years overdue.  My kids and grandchildren were there too, which is always sweet! All in all, we had a great time.  Jimmy had a greater time than the rest of us...but, he deserved it!!


I am about to DIE at this point, and am really surprised that I am even sitting here typing. 


Just wanted to let the world know that I went to a party and lived to tell about it!!  ....now, I'm going to moonwalk back to the bedroom :)

This will drive me crazy..

..if I don't make this correction.  At the end of my last post, I wrote "Yuck ~ feeling so sick, miserable and tired....hoping to go to sleep... Rumpelstiltskin style....minus the beard, plus Rapunzel hair... " ....well, to prove I am losing it, I should have said Rip Van Winkle. Since I have nothing else to think about, I had since been wondering if Rumpelstiltskin spun gold or slept. I asked my mother who the twenty year sleeper was...ugh, she said Rip Van Winkle!  How did I not know that one????  I can only imagine how much I had written over this past year that didn't make sense. I guess it is better that I don't know!  Anyway, if it were up to me, I would much rather be spinning gold than sleeping anyway... but, that's another show...


Also, for the ten that are on my auto-notification list, I apologize for the repeated notifications from my last post.  SO embarrassing, expecting you were all "moanin' and groanin'" each time you rec'ed another notification.  Again, I am such an "Aunt Mary", especially with my new phone.  I can now access my blog and post from my phone. When I was playing with it, I kept re-posting, over and over... so sorry!  Hoping I don't continue to make the same mistake, but I'm not making any promises!


I have to say that I do love my phone.  Since I have to spend so much time in bed, it is a Godsend.  My laptop is too hard to use in bed, since I have to be as flat on my back as possible.  With the phone, it is like having the computer right there.  It is so much fun!  I am addicted to Words With Friends....it REALLY helps pass the time.  I was telling me mum about it today, while she was here.  My mother would absolutely love to play this. I was hoping it was something she could do online, but it only works with certain phones and Facebook.  Unfortunately, she isn't equipped.  I'll have to get her on FB...or as my father calls it "Spacebook"...OY!  If he were to join, he would be a Space Cadette....Mr. Kevin Spacey...my mother would be Sissy Spacek...stop me....


I hate to say that I am still "moanin' and groanin"...still so sick...very hard on many levels.  Wish I could say that I am "a mooovin' and a grooovin'  ....one of these days that will be the title to a post.


Today, my mother told me she wants me to put her back on the blog auto-notification list. I'm on the fence.  If I do, I'll have to read over my posts since November and see what I should erase.  For now, I am holding off.  I'm sure I'll add her back in soon.


I felt bad when my mother came today. She comes, hoping to help me in some way, or even just talk, to...once again..."pass the time".  I was so sick when she got here and wishing she didn't go out of her way.  She really looked exhausted.  Luckily, her visit only lasted around half an hour.  And...I was happy that she came. It was a nice break to chit chat for a short time. 


I was wondering when I was going to blog again, since I really don't want consecutive "oh, I'm so sick" posts.  These days, I obsess about little things, stupid, stupid things.. .....ssoooooo, the Rumpelstiltskin blooper was driving me craaaaazy.  Not knowing when I would write again, I had to get on to spit that out!! Hmmm, who would have guessed that my gift of gab would have kicked in again....back to bed to spin me some gold..


  

Moanin' and Groanin'

Ugh...going on 5:00 am and no where near ready to sleep.  These nights never seem to end..too quiet, black and boring.  I've decided to come on an write a few lines, with nothing else to do.


It has been a really rough three or four weeks.  I managed to pull myself together for Phil and Laura's get together on Sunday.  Aside from that, it has been just horrible.  Being sick ~ always ~ is too much.  To think that I would have complained years ago, if I had a 24 hour bug.  Being sick for 24 hours would be amazing!!!  So great to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  These days/years, my tunnel is one big circle, with no end.


I guess I am going through a downward emotional spell that comes along with the worsening symptoms. I have to say, that doesn't help matters. The endless weakness, horrible fatigue, all muscles feeling like they are decomposing from the inside out, nausea, the cognitive collapse is all still a never ending nightmare.  I don't expect the day to ever come where it stops being surreal.  There is so much more to it, but I'm sure you get the idea.  These days feel like they never end.  I just need to sleep to escape....make that, ESCAPE..


In a past post, I think I mentioned that I e-mailed some local designers looking for some type of behind the scenes work.  A tall order, for someone in my shape.  I may have said this before, but I shockingly received a response from one.  We spoke this past Monday and, as you can imagine, we talked for such a long time that I feel like I have known her.  She reminded me so much of my friend from home, Carole (QVC cakes).  I loved her!  (Holla Carole :)


We arranged to meet after next week.  During our call, I gave her an idea about my business and she told me some things about hers.  We are approximately the same age.  I told her "to be honest, I am shocked that you responded to my letter" (as I mentioned in the letter that I am chronically ill). She said that she was intrigued by my letter.  I was so touched because she said that, initially, she was not looking to hire anyone. She (Debbie) would like to meet with me to see if we can work something out.  It amazed me, because it appears that she is putting kindness before her (lack) of needs in her business.  For those of you that know Carole, you would understand what a great impression she made on me and why I can't help but get my hopes up.


When we do meet,  I am going to continue to be completely honest.  Debbie would need to know that I am rarely reliable, due to my health issues. Unfortunately, rarely reliable is honest. Without disclosing everything, we wouldn't possibly be able to move forward with an appropriate arrangement.  Again, I cannot imagine, for the life of me, how I could help her.  She did say that she already has a couple of ideas and is looking forward to talking to me about them.  I'm going to go wherever this takes me...maybe, I'll be in for a surprise!


I am concerned about my condition the day I go in to see her.  If my brain isn't functioning properly, it would be a total waste of time.  Just hoping, this spurs my adrenaline.  I would love to at least make it through our first meeting coherent!  Looking forward to blogging about that meeting.


Yuck ~ feeling so sick, miserable and tired....hoping to go to sleep... Rumpelstiltskin style....minus the beard, plus Rapunzel hair... 


Apologizing for the phone calls and e-mails I haven't been returning.. ..although I have been loving "Words With Friends" ...woo hoo kind of fun for me these days! 

Ouch, Ouch, Ouch...

...Busy, Busy, Busy...


Today was a hectic but really great day.  The past two or three weeks have been pure hell, but the worst seems to be over for now.  I'm back to my old "normal"...hey, I'll take it...


Earlier we all got together at Ryan and Liz's so everyone could catch up with Phil and Laura. With them living in Charleston, we only see them every few months.  When we do, it is so great!  I love seeing their faces right there in front of me.  Jimmy's brother Dan saw Phil and Laura for the first time in around 2 1/2 years, which was nice.  Dan brought his bff Bobby....who needs to change his last name to Steuber.  Bobby has been around long enough to earn his Steuber stipes!


As I expected, this long day wore me down...to the bone.  If it weren't for taking my pain medication earlier, I would not be sitting here writing.  The medication is not a 100% fix, so I won't be going on and on....you're welcome!


Tomorrow, Monday, I am to call the designer that responded to my letter.  Even being over the worst these past few weeks, I am still painfully aware that  I won't be able to work anything out with this designer.  Regardless, I'll  call and take it from there.  I know, I know, I can be naive, but the fact that she responded to my letter is a good sign.  Knowing that I am chronically ill and returning my letter spoke volumes....I think.


Thursday I have a long overdue appointment with my UM Neurologist.  We have to address the numerous very large cysts up and down my spinal cord.  He feels that I am losing spinal cord fluid.  Again, being naive, I had chosen to put my head in the sand regarding this blip.  I have so many other pressing health issues, that I just do not want to deal with this.  In talking with my immunologist, she said that it is too serious to ignore...UGH!!!!!  The next avenue would be meeting with a neurosurgeon.  It is a lousy surgery and I just want to look away.  My hope is that I can talk my neurologist in to talking me in to  letting it go..talking in circles..I know, naive.. 


The other day, I had a strange episode.  It was completely apart from my normal issues/symptoms.  Without boring you with the details, I am suspecting that one of the cysts may have ruptured, leaking a lot of fluid.  That day was horrible and scary, but by the following day, the symptoms cleared up.  So, I know I have to deal with this mess.  We'll see what this appointment brings.  


Aside from all of my issues, I have some new and worsening existing neurological symptoms.  My immunologist is still thinking that MS in in the mix.  At this point, it really doesn't matter.  With all that is going on with my compromised immune system and autonomic nervous system dysfunction, the neurological symptoms are way at the bottom of my list.


I really do have to get horizontal, but wanted to ask anyone that knows my parents not to disclose any of the information I write in my blog.  Several posts ago, I mentioned that I took them off of my auto notification list.  My mother gets upset and sad when she reads some of what I write.  She needn't be bothered with anything negative.  If you could, please remember not to mention my blog to her.  Not to mention, she is local and sees it all, up close and personal...that is more than enough information for her.


I do have to mention tonight's Grammys - YAY!!!  That show never disappoints.    Tonight was like my playlist....Adele, Coldplay, BRUCE, Beach Boys...their performances were all excellent!  As far as some of the others....feh (my yiddish word I learned from Dina :)


I'm inching away....so tired...good night moon...

Before too much time passes...

...I wanted to make an effort to get something written.  Lately, I have been very sick.  I'm not sure when it all tumbled downhill, but I would say maybe two weeks ago.  It is all just so miserable. A very bad spell, by my standards.


I owe phone calls to several friends/family, but now is not the time. I'm hoping that this will calm down soon, so I can get back in touch with everyone.  Everything is so incredibly difficult when I am in this state. Now, if I only had violin music on my playlist, I would elaborate about all of my symptoms....lucky you!!!


There are two things I wanted to write about.  One is something so funny that my mother said earlier.  She is hysterical...FYI, she was voted "Class Clown" her senior year at Little Flower High School - class of 1,500 girls...just so you know she is legit :)


Anyway, she is doing unbelievably well.  I am astonished at the progress she has made since coming off of the steroids.  Even though I knew going off would help, I never saw this degree of recovery coming.  My mother is pretty much 100% at this point.  Sooooo, making an itsy bitsy story a never ending tale, this is what she said.  I still have to laugh to myself when I think of it...she said " I can tell that I am better, since Dad isn't telling me he loves me every five minutes anymore".  My father was telling her how much loved her every time she looked in his direction, while she was at her worst.   He is obviously veeeeery comfortable with her dramatic recovery...that just cracked me up!  Maybe, you had to be there!!....anyhoooo


The other thing I want to touch on, is my quest for a custom made job...one that would fit me to perfection.  The night I last posted about this, I found some local designers online.  Being my impulsive self, I quickly wrote letters to the few I found, describing my background and that fact that I am now chronically ill.  I said that I would love to find a behind the scenes job with a local designer.  I barely proof read it, before I hit "send".  SHOCKINGLY, one actually responded!!!  Initially, I was super excited.  Then, the more I thought about it, I pretty much came to the conclusion that there is absolutely not a thing that I could commit to do.  From owning my own design business for so many years, I know the possible positions they could have...even the simplest assignments would be incredibly difficult for me to do, on command...when she would need things done and not on my time.  


Regardless....the designer is out of town this week and she wants me to call on Monday to set up a time to come in.  She asked, in her e-mail, if I was able to come in to the office.  When I read that, I thought that she understood that I am sick, yet still invited me in....to beg and plead. Maybe I am naive, but I think that is a good sign....I can envision my first paycheck being made out to Pollyanna... I think I'll frame it!


I will go in next week, sit down and be as honest as humanly possible with her.  She would need to know exactly how unreliable I am, but also what I can do for her, when I am physically able to be present.  Of course, looking back over the past few weeks is discouraging.  If I had any type of employment, I wouldn't have been able to work .. PERIOD.  UGH!!!  I want something to work out so incredibly much, but know ....well, I just know.


Something nice....Ry & Liz...your Sinatra wedding song is on again...makes me so happy :)


My daughter-in-law, Danielle texted me a picture of my angel faced grandson, Brayden today.  He is four years old and in preschool.  It was a picture of him standing in his classroom, in front of the blackboard where he had written "Brayden Steuber".  He looked SO proud....and wearing his Phillies shirt too!!  It was the absolute sweetest picture.  I told Jimmy that even if I didn't know this ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL little boy, this picture would still have warmed my heart.  If I weren't such a Flintstone, I would have posted the picture on here for everyone to see...yes, he really is angel faced..and legit like his great grandmother :)   Also, his favorite song used to be Viva la Vida and it is on RIGHT NOW!!! Woo Hoo Brayden....WooOOOooooOOOOooooOOOO...good times :)...kisses kisses kisses kisses kisses!


Before I sign off, I have to say how excited the Florida Steuber's are that Phil and Laura will be coming home from Charleston this weekend. I CANNOT wait to see them...it has been too long!!!  A sight for sore eyes for sure..at the seashore...say that three times quick!  Hurry up guys, but drive safely!!

Stopping by for a minute...

A minute?? ... and, they say it couldn't be done...

I wanted to take a second to wish my daughter-in-law, Liz, an over the top, Happy, Happy Birthday today!!!  Love that we have Liz on team Steuber!!  HOLLA!

In true form....and, as I said to Ryan ten times earlier..."oh, and one more thing"....

 I read over my last blog and had to laugh at one particular sentence, when I was writing about finding an employer..."With the right match, it would be mutually beneficial"... I don't know how those words could enter my brain, no less flow through my fingers on to the keyboard.  I'm not thinking it would be so "mutual"!  That same day, I got so sick just from taking a shower.  Finding the perfect job???....it definitely does not add up on paper, but not throwing in the towel yet.

I have received some employment ideas and hoping that something will come together. Keep them coming...they are so appreciated!

From time to time, I'll browse through other blogs on blogger.com.  I'm puzzled as to why all others are short and sweet and mine go on, and on, and on......?!?!??!

Today is not a good day, so I'm going to "conform"! 

Back to bed.....

Missing the blog....

Once again, time has flown right past me.  The last time I posted, I was hoping to continue to write once or twice per week.  I blinked, and now it is two weeks later.

I'm here tonight and, ONCE AGAIN, hoping to be writing on a more regular basis.

For several months, I have been trying to come up with a way to get back in to the work force and actually generate some income.  With my issues, it is almost impossible to come up with an appropriate match for the new me. I write "almost impossible", rather than "impossible", because I do believe that I can be of value to some type of business. I really believe it...it is a fact, I'm certain!  The problem is that my new limitations put me in a less than desirable light for potential employers.  I am looking for an amazing saint that would understand my issues, but still work with me.  With the right match, it would be mutually beneficial.


The absolute perfect job for me would be back in the interior design/decorating field.  As I have said in previous posts, family and laughter is the best medicine, then I added music, and now I am adding my love of interior design.  Danielle and Liz (daugther's-in-law) have asked for some help lately, and I have to say it was woo hoo exhilarating!!!!!  SO MUCH FUN!!!!!!!  Now I remember how I spent endless hours at my shop for years on end.  When you love what you do so much, it isn't work at all.


I would LOVE to work behind the scenes for a (saint) designer.  If she/he could bring me their jobs, let me get to work putting together paint colors, floor plans, furniture, fabric, accessories, etc., then I would have everything packed and ready for them to take to their follow up appointment.  I know I am a dreamer...maybe I should be dreaming of Jeannie for backup. This type of position would be an absolutely perfect part time job.  Honestly, I cannot believe that there is a designer out there "dreaming" that someone in my unique position is looking for work.  If only.....

In all honesty, I am talking a big game, and not entirely sure I could deliver.  It does scare me and I would have my answer after the first day.  This is all really a dream...I think "dream" is the word of the day! I need to try and risk failing, rather than not do all I can to get a shot at an opportunity.  If I fail, I want it to be "in my face", then I will know and that will be that.  At this point, my cup is half full (of Long Island Ice Tea...still dreaming :)


Other than that, I have looked on Monster to get an idea of what is out there.  UGH!  Nothing whatsoever is a fit for me.  If I could find work from home, that would be great too...but doing what???  I know there is a lid for this (crack) pot, but finding it may be like looking for a needle in a haystack. 


For now, this is my obsession.  If anyone has any suggestions, please pass them on!!  Also, suggestions for local designers that I could contact would be great too.


For the longest time, my cell phone has been on the fritz....dropping words, and calls....hey, I have a lot to say!  Such a headache!!! Since I rarely leave the house, I have been relying on my house phone.  It has taken me months and months, but I finally went to Verizon yesterday to get a replacement.  With a free upgrade and gift certificates, I bought an Apple smart phone.....and, let me tell you I am all that!!!!  This phone is SO much fun!!!!!  Yesterday, not so much....but, thanks to my son Chris, I am crazy-go-nuts over it today!!!  I am sure that you all are light years ahead of me, but I am in awe of this thing!....I know, I am showing my stone age.


Chris showed me the app for "Pandora".  I was under the impression it was to pick up radio stations....oooohhh noooo...so much more!  I created my own "stations" by entering the name of an artist..ooohhh, let's say I randomly picked..oh, I guess...Bruce Springsteen.  It created a station with Springsteen songs, along with other artists that are similar.  Now, I have a Springsteen station, Coldplay station, Neil Young, Adele, Grateful Dead, Tom Petty, etc....now for those that really know me, you don't think I don't have a "Les Miserable" or "Rent" station, do you???  I thought my head was going to explode!!!  Well, I guess this should give you an idea of just how exciting my life really is!!  Note to Erica....imagine explaining one of these phones to "Aunt Mary"...that was Chris today...I thought he was going to put me in time 
out .......in a nursing home :)


I want to give an update on my mother.  She is doing remarkably well.  To my surprise (and horror), she drove the other day.  Of course, she made this brave move when my father wasn't home to stop her.  To be honest, I am not comfortable at all with her driving.  I know my father is trying to hold her back as long as he can.  She has had some really good days.  I cannot say if she will get back to her old self, but time will tell.  She does have multiple myeloma, but she is stage one and the doctor said it progresses very slow.  It appears that her horrible decline was due to the steroid treatment she was on.  She is not at all one hundred percent, but the improvement has been remarkable...absolutely amazing since mid-December.


Earlier today, Chris, Danielle and the kids came for a short time.  My parents came over so they could see Brayden, Gabby and Maks.   I was astonished at my mother's active interaction with them.  She hasn't been up to that type of activity since early November.  Although, when they left, it was a sudden "we have to go" and they were outta' here.  I am sure she was exhausted when she got home. With my issues, I understand so many of hers.  No doubt, she was too active with the kids today and hit a brick wall.  I'll call to see how she is, but not sure if she'll be honest.  We are having a real tug-of-war with the truth between us.  It goes both ways, what I am willing to share with her (trying not to upset her) and her with me.  We are too much alike and super over-protective of each other. In a perfect world, I could be the over protective one and she not worry about me...again, dreaming!


As hard as it is to believe, today is Phil and Laura's First Anniversary!!!  Congratulations to you honeymooners!  Wishing you both a beautiful and romantic anniversary in Myrtle Beach!  We are all looking forward to the official celebration this summer.  All of our anniversaries .... all thirty.... have been extra special.  I'm sure you will have the same and love them as much as Dad and I.  Dad still tells me "Happy Anniversary" every month on the thirteenth.. ..still so special and significant! I know you both "get it" XO


I'm going to get going, and hoping to be back in a few days....
Love from Aunt Mary

Back in the groove...

...or, so I think!  It is hard to believe that it has been an entire month since I last posted.  I never intended to take such a long break.

For the record, I have taken my parents off of my auto notification list.  It has come back to me that my mom sometimes gets depressed, if I write about the not so great days.  There is no need for her to read anything remotely negative.  As I mention my parents from time to time,  be assured that they are not reading the blog. 

It has been a crazy two months with my mom's health issues.  Emotions ranging from one extreme to the other.  Since mid-December, my mother has been to hell and almost back.  She has suffered horribly and we were all frozen with fear one month ago.  My mom's oncologist has had her on a heavy dose of steroids.  We are hoping that they were the primary culprit with her rapidly, deteriorating health.  She has stopped taking them and it will be another week or two before they are entirely out of her system.  She is still dealing with several issues.  It remains to be seen how much improvement we can expect, once she is steroid free.  I am still very concerned.  It is obvious that she will not be the amazing dynamo she was prior to Thanksgiving.  However, after seeing her at her worst last month, I am grateful for even the slightest improvement.  Behind closed doors, when she is alone with my father, she confesses how sick and scared she is.  On the phone with the rest of us, she does her best to put on a good front, although usually not too convincing.


Today was my birthday...UGH ~ Fi..Fi..Fi..Fifty..dry heave...Five!!!  Where did that come from????  The good news, is that my father brought my mom over later in the afternoon. I was so surprised and thrilled to see them.  My mom looked pretty good, by her new standards, but she wasn't doing too good.  Every time I asked her questions about her different symptoms, she wouldn't answer.  I think it was one of those things where she just pushed herself to get here for my BD.  I get it...and do the same, when I feel the need.


So, now that my parents no longer have access to the blog (they don't know about the link), I'll be touching on this from time to time


After my parents left, Chris, Danielle, Brayden, Gabby and Maks came and brought a traveling birthday party to my house with delicious cupcakes with pink icing (Gabby picked the color:)  They were delicious...oh, and the cupcakes were too!  Nothing feels as good as kisses and hugs with these precious little angels.  They give me such an emotional lift...What is that old, old song...something like "I've got my girl, who could ask for anything more??"..I've got my Gabby, Brayden & Maks, who could ask for anything more????"...Not I!


I apologize to all those that I owe e-mails to.  It seems I have gotten worse and worse at getting back.  The problem is, believe it or not, I have so much to say....I know..really! I need to take time to collect my thoughts before writing, thus procrastinating!!  I'm working on getting back to everyone either through e-mail or a telephone call. Dina Ellen...I'm coming after you next!!!!!!!

Christmas was difficult for me, much like last year.  I feel horrible complaining, when I have so much to be grateful for.  My issues were two fold.  Last year and this year, I just didn't have the energy to go all out in decorating, making everything as special as possible or in making an exciting holiday meal.  I love doing all of this so incredibly much.  It seems like I lost that part of me, that I have enjoyed tremendously for the past thirty years.  Even though I am an adult, there has always been a special magic for me at the holidays.  I feel that I have lost that completely and it makes the holidays hard on me, emotionally.  It is just another casualty of being chronically ill.  To most people, I'm sure this sounds so trivial, but to me it is huge loss.... I really want me back...


The other issue this year, obviously, was going through the holidays with my mom so ill.  Christmas Eve was so hard and sad for me.  I kept sitting next to my mother.  The few conversations we began, just fizzled in to nothing.  It tore my heart out.  She was incredibly weak and affected by a specific blood pressure medication. For the most part, I don't feel like this woman is my mother, only sick.  It is like a completely different person and I feel lost when I am with her.  Don't get me wrong, there are some high points during phone calls where she almost sounds like herself.  When that happens, I savor every minute.

I cannot talk about Christmas as been completely gloomy/doomy...I have grandchildren you know!!!  Again, they take my heart and lift it up, without even knowing it.  Chris and Danielle went out of their way to have a beautiful Christmas Eve at their house.  Everything was beautiful and delicious. I love our family so much....there are no words...and you all know who you are!  Also, we were lucky enough to have my sister Nancy here for Christmas this year...the more the merrier!

Last week I had one of my best doctor appointments EVER, with my immunologist at the University of Miami.  She spent approximately two hours with me and helped me understand more of what is going on with my "mind of its own" body.  It was incredibly informative, not all good news to hear, but still an information packed appointment.  I'm not going to get in to all that in this post, since this is getting long already.  I will talk about it in depth in the next post or two.

Lastly, Jimmy and I decided to go to a local steak house, Runyon's, for my birthday dinner tonight.  Unfortunately, with my health issues, we always have to eat at places close to home.  Needless to say, that narrows down the options.  Everything was very nice and I had two drinks...if only they served them with funnels!  It was just what the doctor ordered.  After dinner, they brought out dessert with a candle.  For the first time, since I was probably ten, I actually made a wish.  I was surprised when Jimmy asked what my wish was.  I know it supposedly won't come true if I say it out loud, but you know me.  My wish was simply to be happy.  Happy no matter what turns my health takes, happy with all the time I get to see my parents and kids, and the cuties!  Just trying to be happy no matter what life throws at us.  Over the last two years, more has been thrown at us than you all know.  I am really going to try to keep my chin up and focus on what I DO have.  No doubt, there will be times when I slip and have a pity party, but I'll need to bounce back as soon as I can.

Thank you to everyone for your sweet birthday messages, through calls, text messages, voice mail messages and endless Facebook messages, both private and public.  You all made my day and lifted me up.  Hey....let's do this again tomorrow!!!

I'm so happy to be back...hopefully, I'll be able to keep this ball in the air!  It has been a long month since I was last on and I have to say I am diggin' my playlist!!  Music is right up there with laughter AND GRANDCHILDREN, as the best medicine ~ Adele is serenading me at the moment, as I am holding off on clicking on "publish post"!  Okay, she is done ... I'm outta' here before the next song starts!
XO
Cathy 

See ya next year....

This has been a crazy and hectic December.  We have a lot going on, between now and the week after Christmas...my brother going back to PA and my sister coming from New Jersey, doctor's appointments and, of course, we are looking forward to a beautiful Christmas with our family.  

This is the first really fun Santa year with my older grandson and granddaughter.  They really get it. So much so, they think it is Christmas every morning when they wake up.  It will be so much fun to have magic back in our Christmas again!  Chris and Danielle are living the "good old days" that they'll be talking about years from now.

Ryan and Liz had their first Annual (subliminal message to them :) Christmas Party at their new home last night.  It was beautiful!  Everything looked and tasted perfect!  A very special night for sure.  We are all hoping they continue this new tradition every December.

I'll be taking a few weeks off, but plan to get back to serious blogging about health updates and my usual, yadda, yadda, yadda, after the first of the year.  

I want to thank everyone that has been following, and for the great feedback.  It seems to be a two way street.  It is a gift to learn from each other!

Wishing everyone a beautiful holiday season, filled with special family moments. Happy and healthy 2012 to everyone!  Maybe this will be a great year for us all!

XOXO

Cathy

It's been a week already???

Time is flying by, as usual.  I try to post at least two times/week, but have been slacking in that department.

My brother and his wife, John and Lisa, have been down helping out with my parents. It is great that their schedules allow them the freedom to spend so much quality time with everyone.  They have been staying with us, which is like having a slumber party every night...although, I'm not too good in the slumber department....and Lisa, is the bad girl that sneaks wine in to the party, which makes her a good girl :)

There has been a lot going on, which keeps my adrenaline flowing like a geyser....I need some sheep...with mallets. This is my normal and will never get used to it.

Anyway, just wanted to drop a line. With my slumber parties, I am finding I am not at the computer as often as before.  I do not plan to stop blogging, but I suspect there will be fewer for the next few weeks.  Hopefully, I'll get one out every week, at a minimum. 

Oh, and some exciting news about my friend, Carole.  Super excited that her sister will be on QVC next Thursday, 12/8, between 5:00 & 6:00, selling their delicious cakes.  This has been a long time in coming and I hope some of you set your DVR so you don't miss it.  Her cakes are AMAZING and a great gift idea.  I'm hoping to make my QVC debut and call in with my testimonial...and I suspect after a minute or two, they'll cut me off mid-sentence.  So, if you watch and hear a call from Cathy from Coral Springs, that will be me.  Good luck girlfriend!!! 

Short and simple, just know that I am a little behind, but still hanging around :)

Did I Say Thankful???

I know I just wrote about Thanksgiving last night, but I had to tell the world our very exciting news.  We were all surprised to get the phone call that my mom and dad were coming too!  That was the best news!!  When I called Chris to tell him, he said "This is really a day to be thankful"...he spoke for all of us.

Our day was absolutely beautiful, in every imaginable way.  We can't thank Ry and Liz enough for our beautiful day and delicious dinner...everything was perfect!  Hey Mr. and Mrs. Steuber....what are you doing Christmas Eve???....just kidding.... no, I'm not...just kidding....no, I'm not....JUST KIDDING!...or am I?????   No, No, No, I am kidding :D

It took hours between my first and second paragraphs, since my body was destroyed when we came home.  I should have known to hold off on posting, until I had some medication.  It was just that I couldn't wait to share with the world, that my parents were able to join us.  We couldn't have asked for more....except for Phil and Laura....maybe next year will be even more perfect!

....and good luck to my son, Chris...he'll be at Toys R Us at 3:00 AM!!!!..I know, "crazy go nuts", huh????

Happy, Happy Thanksgiving...

It is so hard to believe that tomorrow is going to be Thanksgiving. We'll be spending it with Ry and Liz, in their new home.  They have been looking forward to hosting their first holiday for such a long time...I know everything is going to be delicious and perfect.

Also, we are so happy that Liz's mom, Jeannie, flew down for this special day.  It will be so much fun to see her again and get caught up.  No doubt, she is having fun helping Liz and admiring the "view" out back!  It's a little scary bringing pies to the "Lancaster Lady"... Jeannie is used to the best!

Not to mention, Chris, Danielle, Brayden, Gabby and Baby Maks will be with us too.  I can't wait to see the kids in their new Thanksgiving outfits!  They are really too precious for words!  I cannot wait for my bear hugs from the kiddies - words cannot describe the feeling. 

Unfortunately, my mother and father will not be able to be with us.  Obviously, they will be missed terribly!  Wishing my mom a better day tomorrow.  Hopefully, we'll get to bring some leftovers to them tomorrow night or Friday...there will be lots of pie...and hugs to deliver! 

Additionally, we'll have two more vacant seats., We'll be missing Phil and Laura too..so much!!  Phil is at sea and Laura is spending Thanksgiving with her family...which is so nice for the Kreitman's.  They'll have a great holiday, no doubt!

We don't all have perfect lives. I can't think of too many people that "appear" to have no complaints.  In spite of all of this, we all have so much to be thankful for tomorrow and every day.  I have many friends with poor health, financial problems, family issues, some with seemingly perfect lives, etc., yet I can't think of one that couldn't make a list that is a mile long, detailing all they have to be grateful for...(I know, ending a sentence with a preposition :)...not grateful for that!

As you have all noticed, I can be quite the complainer myself!!  With all my different issues that we have dealt with in the last year, along with my health....and now my mother's health....I still have so much....so much more than a lot of people. I feel that I have always kept that in perspective for just about all of my adult life....although, I do eat my heart out when I see people out power walking...but, who knows, maybe their families and friends aren't as amazing as mine...duh, how could they be????

I know that everyone will take a moment to give thanks tomorrow....and for that moment, realize that "yeah, I am SO blessed".  Wishing you all a beautiful Thanksgiving and to savor that "yeah, I am SO blessed" moment....tomorrow and throughout the year.

It happened again....tomorrow is Ry and Liz's exciting day and their Frank Sinatra wedding song just came on my playlist....tomorrow will be beautiful!

Please keep my mother, Marie Mahony, in your prayers! XO