Blast From The Past..

Last night we had the best time...screaming laughing best time!!  For those who know me, you would also know my friends Rick and Debbie.  Deb had to come down for business in South Beach and we got together last night.  It was electric I tell 'ya, it was electric!!! (in my Regis voice)  Rick and I met the summer between fifth and sixth grade down Long Beach Island, and have been friends ever since.  Debbie came on the scene when I was sportin' my painter's pants in 1975, also down the shore.  I haven't seen Rick in approximately five years and it has been two for Deb.  


We went to one of our favorite restaurants.  It is very close to our house, which is always a help.  I really didn't want to bring my transformer wheel chair, but after a short while, Jimmy brought it in.  Excuse me, in case Rick is reading this, I meant to say SAINT Jimmy...I'm happy I didn't marry a guy named Bernard!  The chair was worth its weight in gold and completely saved the night.  I was able to fully recline.  Without it, there would have been a tearful ending to a short visit.  It was still a tearful ending, but for different reasons.  Unfortunately, when it was time to say good bye, it was really time. Those that know Rick and Debbie would understand how insanely fun last night was, and for those that don't, there are no words.  I am so happy :)


Back to my regularly scheduled blog....Last week, I was talking to my friend, Marie.  Marie broke her back in December.  Since then, she has been in horrible pain.  The verdict is still out on how much improvement she can expect.  We are hoping for some good news this week.  Even though it has been just a few months, she has been dealing with many of the same issues that I have been going through for the last seven years.  She finds it unbearable to be in so much pain and having to spend endless time in bed.  Marie is unable to continue working and can't imagine living this life, if that is what lies ahead. It is like her life, as she knew it, has vanished and couldn't find a glimmer of light.


I was so happy that we talked about all of this.  Needless to say, I understood every single word she was saying.  It is unimaginably surreal....unimaginable.  While she was saying that she wouldn't want to live this life, I dug down deep to think of special moments that are magnified so much more, when living this chronically ill life.   It is kind of like a blind person having a stronger sense of hearing.  While being chronically ill, and expecting nothing but the same day after day, the occasional bright spots, are so, so much brighter than if we weren't sick.  I was telling Marie that it could be as simple as fraction of a second laugh out loud moment.  


A few years ago, I was in bed watching "Everybody Loves Raymond".  Something funny was said and I "laughed out loud"...alone in my room....looking around, wondering where that laugh came from...couldn't have been me...or was it?!?!?  Hey, I laughed out loud and it felt AMAZING!  I'm sure it was a rough time for me, but that sudden burst of laughter was like opening a valve to release the pent up pressure and sadness.  It was just perfect!  Now, that was just a TV show....you can only imagine how I feel when I see my adorable grandchildren!!   Tack on Rick and Debbie after so many years...WOO HOO! 


I posted a week or two ago, after Jimmy and I went to Bonefish Macs for dinner.  For some reason, when we go out to dinner, sitting across from each other talking, I always end up crying. I guess it takes being out of the house for me to open up.  Anyway, I was really depressed.  We were seated outside, and a woman that was seated next to us lit up a cigarette.  In the middle of the water works, I couldn't help but laugh.  I had seen an episode of "Cheers" earlier that day, and there was a funny scene between Woody and a customer that was smoking..."Cheers" is hysterical!  Now, that was an instance where I was soooo low...limbo low...and that sudden thought of Woody, of all people, turned my mood completely around.  It happens without warning, just be assured that it will happen again and again.  In fact, I could use someone to remind me of this now and then too.


Anyway, I completely get it and understand how chronically ill people just don't want to face another day.  I feel that way often myself.  Luckily, there are intermittent moments, or hours of the valve being released.  I guess we have the one up on well people...they don't know just how sweet the sweet moments are...hoping I don't have cavities...


My friend Vicki asked me to discuss days that she refers to as "grieving days"...which are kind of the flip side to what I have been talking about tonight.  Nonetheless, they are real and valid.  I'll write about that next time.


Wishing my sick friends a laugh out loud moment today...


Last, but not least...

HAPPY, HAPPIER, HAPPIEST BIRTHDAY TO 

DINA GINGY ELLEN

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX