RED FLAG....boring post!

I hope everyone had a great weekend and that the weather is starting to warm up back home.

For me, today (at this time, it is actually yesterday) was a pretty good day.  I was in a little bit of a microfiber frenzy, which is always a good sign.  A little later, Jimmy and I decided to go and get something quick and cheap to eat, then go to the food store - very ambitious day!

Deciding where to get something to eat was one of those "I don't know, where do you want to go"..."I don't, know where do YOU want to go"  "I asked you first, just name one place" "No, I can't think, just say a place"  OY - we can waste forty five minutes on this tennis match!  ...your serve

Since I am rarely out of the house, I can't tell you how incredible it feels to walk out of my front door in to this beautiful Florida winter weather.  On the inside of the door, it is like the Wizard of Oz in black and white, on the other side, it is like the Wizard of Oz in color.  Feeling well enough to walk out the door and being hit in the face with this gorgeous weather is indescribable .... I LOVE IT!

...speaking of the Wizard of Oz, when you hear where we went for dinner you will all be thinking "if she only had a brain"....

We went....dry heave....to the Golden Corral Grill ~ STUPIDO!!!!

I'm not sure if they are up north, but let me say, it was most definitely a surreal sitcom experience!!  INSANITY!  It is obvious that the writers from Saturday Night Live have never been, or there would have been a skit about this Corral experience, a loooong time ago.  OOHHH, I would love to be part of the writers sitting around, bouncing ideas off each other for this one.  No one would get a word in edgewise....no really....

Jimmy dropped me off at the front, since the handicapped spots were taken.  I walked in to the vestibule.  Once inside, there was a door on the left to enter and a door on the right to exit.  When I walked up, there were three people ahead of me ~ no big deal.  Jimmy came in and said, "you know the line goes on forever once you're inside this door?".  I looked around the corner and almost died.  It was like the line at Disney's Space Mountain (I know I'm dating myself) at the height of the season.  The roped off "chutes" to follow back and forth, and forth and back, to and fro, and fro and to, four times before you get to the register.  My jaw dropped...are they giving away gold bricks????? or yellow brick roads???

Now since I am so overweight, I can say this...everyone was huge (me included). Are you saying "if she only had a heart"??? I didn't realize that this place was a ginormous buffet. I expected a cafeteria style "grill", with steak, hamburgers, grilled chicken sandwiches and a salad bar. There must have been a sign outside saying "There Is No Tomorrow", because everyone in line was licking their chops and drooling....they all had their eye on the prize....make that, prizes... It was beyond belief. No doubt they thought I was the hungriest of them all, since my jaw dropped....and yes, I was speechless.


So, when I realized that we would have to wait forever in line, I asked the woman in front of us "Is it really this good???" and she said OOOOHHH YEAAAAAAAH...I thought she was going to get whiplash from nodding "yes" so hard.  I found that really, really hard to believe, but my curiosity was getting the better of me.  I am such a sucker!!!!!


Waiting in line is not an option for me and there would be no way to navigate around a gazillion people with my wheel chair.  Soooooo, I DARED to walk over to the exit door, hoping to find an employee to see if there was a place I could sit, while Jimmy waited in line.  Honestly, I can't believe we even got to this stage without turning around, since there were so many red flags. 

When I went to open the exit door, a cop, YES a cop , not a security guard (I have never been to an eating establishment that had any kind of security, no less a cop??..another red flag) , stopped the door with his foot and wouldn't let me in....WHAT...am I on Candid Camera (old timers) or being Punked (kids)???  I told him I cannot stand in line and asked if I could sit somewhere, until Jimmy gets to the front of the line.  Of course, this policeman didn't have the authority to allow me in and had to get a manager to approve this wild, crazy, over-the-top request. I'm surprised he didn't call the chief of police....although, maybe that's who he was...or was he the Wizard????...he didn't seem to want to make eye contact...

Finally, I got in!  ...just happy to get a seat. I was now on the "other side".... meaning the "dark side".  I looked around and could NOT believe my eyes.  There were a zillion people clamoring around miles of buffet stations.  They were like frenzied human bumper cars....or flying monkeys with blindfolds, holding dishes filled with ooorrrreeeeoooossss...

FINALLY we got to our table....why, why, why did we ever consider going there?????? Why, why, why didn't a house fall on top of me????? Please, please, please let there be gold bricks.....

Now it was time to check out the endless stations.  Everything looked deeeesgustin'.  I thought we would walk in, get a hamburger, then off to the food store.  Well, the only thing on the planet they didn't have was....yes, a hamburger!!!  You name it, they had Asian, Italian and Mexican stations, as well as grotesque looking fish and miles of unidentifiable delights.  Just think, if we stayed home in black and white, what Auntie Em would have prepared for us :( 

The worst thing was that when you decided what you wanted to eat, you had to get in line AGAIN!!!  Midway through eating, I started to get pains in my stomach.  I have an upper GI issue where my stomach doesn't get the nerve impulses to digest food and can be very painful.  Not sure if it was the food or the gastroparesis.   I'm putting my money on the food being the culprit. 


Everyone in this place was so serious.  They were all on a mission.  But I guess anyone would be if you believe there is not going to be a tomorrow :)  When I brought my plate to our table, the people all around me were checking out what I had on my dish - as if I might have uncovered something that they missed!!!  I wish I had the co..co..co...courage to tell them to MYOB!!!  I swear, it was like I was on another planet.  Jimmy and I were dying.....actually, we were diiii-yyeeeennggg. 


So, since I had to wait in line at the "stations", I couldn't go to the food store with Jimmy, even though I would be riding the scooter.  This traumatic :) experience sent me in to a nosedive.  The food store trip would have been impossible and we would have had to leave mid-way, so Jimmy returned me to black and white....where my stomach pains continued for hours.....it seemed Jimmy was feeling the same sickness in his stomach - ugh!!! 


After I came home, I received a call from my son Phil, which was really fun.  He is just north of San Fransisco.  It was fun to catch up and we were on the phone for a long time.....good times :) Of course, I spent the first twenty minutes describing the Corral insanity to him - poor Phil!


See, I told you this was boring.  I cannot believe that I have wasted your time with such a nonsensical post or that it is going on 6:15 am ....there is no place like bed, there is no place like bed.......off to see the wizzzzard....

Don't forget Trey Love - join his FB page....you won't regret it~