Deja Vu...

....pretty much sums up my day to day.  Each day begins as a blank page.  Some days are pretty rough, requiring me to stay in bed and get as much rest as possible.  More often than not, that is how my every day is. For the most part, I am okay with it.....really...blank page and all.  This has been my life for so long now, that I am beginning to forget what my old life used to be like.  It was what it was and now it is what it is. I have acclimated myself to this new life.  This is still my life, just different.  No complaints!


Actually, I am usually thankful that I never have to be anywhere and I can just stay put where I need to be.  The occasional doctor visits are the only reason I have to leave and those days are not pleasant. 

On the flip side, there are days when I do get to write on the "blank page".  It could be, as you all know by now, say it with me ~ "MICROFIBER..ING",  doing laundry, making dinner and, if I am really having a better day, getting in the car and running an errand (rare). (I kinda' live up to what they say about Florida drivers)  Some days, I can do a combination of these things.  Yes, I'll pay a price, but most days I don't have the option to take the risk.  When I do have the option, it is almost always worth the price ~ no regrets.

Yesterday, I decided to go food shopping with Jimmy.  It is sometimes a hard decision to make.  When it is "iffy", I should know that it means stay put.  Obviously, I will never learn to react to the red flags.....still some denial.  As soon as we got in the car, I was absolutely miserable and knew why.  I should have walked right back in the house.  When getting dressed does me in, I have to learn to immediately get back in bed.

To make matters worse, I chose to walk with the shopping cart, rather than use the store's scooter.... beyond stupid.  I think I was so miserable that I went, when I wasn't well enough, that I just wanted to get it over ASAP.  Those scooters are SO slow!!!!!!  Everyone who really knows me, knows my foot is always on the gas pedal - flooring it.  I decided I would rather risk walking the store, using the cart to lean on, and getting out faster, than moving at a snail's pace and be away from my bed an extra half hour. Do I pick door number one or door number two???  Ugh - neither was an acceptable option.  Where is the trap door when I need it???? It was a miserable experience and I asked for it.


Today is Monday and I am hoping to write something in the coming days of blank pages this week.  I didn't make it over to see baby Maks crawling last week, so that is my priority for the week.  If I do, I'll be posting pictures on FB :D


I don't want this to sound depressing, because it really isn't meant to be.  Each day when I wake up, I have no expectations.  Because of that, I am rarely disappointed with my day.  If I need to stay horizontal all day, so be it.  At least I am home, in the comfort of my own bed.  On the upside ~ the days I get to function, whether it is cleaning, talking on the phone, cooking, etc., it is ALWAYS a very, very pleasant, unexpected surprise.  On those days, I end on such a good note and it feels great.


I've written more than usual the past few days.  So, it looks like you will all have a front row seat to see if I write on my blank page days this week.  If I have a productive day, I'll be using a permanent magic marker because I'll want the world to know that I have something to brag about!!  I'll be IN YOUR FACE, telling you that I'm "all that"..and yes, and a bag of chips :)


I am learning so much through this blog, it amazes me... and I am happy to say that it is ALL good :)   


Looking forward to some good, positive posts this week - cup half full.... ...CHEERS!