Up and running...

..and, you didn't even know I was gone!  

Over the past few days, I have been deciding whether or not to continue with this blog.  I came to the conclusion that I would bring it to an end.  It was a hard decision to make, but I thought it would be in my best interest, at this point.  Inadvertently, my niece, Keli, completely turned my way of thinking around.  It was funny, because she had no idea that I was planning on closing up shop, or the impact that her letter would have on me.  Keli picked me up, dusted me off and pointed me in the right direction, without even knowing!! Well, now I am both excited and proud to continue my blog.  Thanks Kel!

I have to add that my daughter-in-law, Liz, also gave me some good advice to keep me on track...thank you Mrs. Steuber!  Liz & Keli were my dynamic duo yesterday!

For me, this has been an insanely busy weekend....and, I am living to tell about it ~ Woo Hoo!  If I hadn't taken pain medication a few hours ago, chances are that I wouldn't be posting right now.  

Which reminds me....Jimmy and I were talking about my blog several days ago.  He said that he doesn't feel that I go in to enough detail regarding my daily struggles and that I am not conveying an accurate portrayal of my daily life. It's funny he brought that up, because I had recently been thinking the same thing.  Somehow, I have veered away from the core reason for this blog.

One reason that I haven't been dwelling on that side of me, is that I usually hold off on taking pain medication until later at night.  Because of that, I am well enough to write when it is very late.  I write every time I am up to it, so when I am not writing, it is because I am too sick.  Unfortunately, depending on my symptoms, pain medication cannot always help. Days like that are very difficult and I have to surrender and stay on my back.  Again, you are not hearing what I have to say on those days...that would be Mr. Hyde....

When I am feeling better, I am not fixated on my rough spots.  It is my opportunity to forget.  If I were ever to write when I am very sick, you would think my keyboard had been hijacked.  Maybe, one day, I will write when I feel like I can't. Like I have said, early on in my blog, I want to be sure that others that are very sick know that I am one of them.  I just do not want to hit you all over the head with incessant complaining. 

Another reason, and I may have mentioned this in a previous post, is that since I have accepted my situation, I am finding it easier, emotionally, to deal with the pain and debilitation.   It is very hard, but my outlook has been helping me cope much better.  Mind over matter can only take you so far, but it has helped me tremendously to "deal".  Every day is incredibly frustrating.  I drop everything I pick up, then drop it again, and again.  Considering, I was told not to bend over, it drives me crazy.  When I do bend over, I have immediate symptoms that are intense.  

My pain, horrible weakness, debilitating fatigue and worsening sudden muscle cramping is a daily occurrence.  The cramping is especially bad around my rib cage.  I was driving last night and I had the worst cramp on the left side of my ribcage, then simultaneously, another on the right side.  It was hard to drive with my body so distorted and trying to work them out.  

There are sudden decent spells, usually lasting no more than an hour or two.  When they hit, I get immediately over confident, thinking..."could I be getting better???".  You would think I would give it more than an hour or two before asking myself that crazy question. I'm a slow learner! 

When I do take advantage of these good spurts, I'll go to the food store, or make a good dinner. Depending if I was really well enough to venture out, or if I stayed out too long, it is like lightening striking. My entire body starts to fail..even to the extent of causing my speech to slur.  I was at a jewelry store the other day.  The jeweler wanted my opinion on a new line he was considering carrying.  He left me to talk with the sales rep.  I really needed to get in and out, since I am a ticking time bomb when I am out and vertical.  Luckily, they had stools, but I really had to get home.  While I was talking to the rep, my speech was getting worse and worse, then it was hard to get the words from my brain to my mouth.  It was so bad, I had to apologize to him and tell him I have neurological problems.  I didn't want him to think I was drunk or on drugs....if only :)

I'm happy to report that this weekend didn't turn in to the nightmare that it could have.  I really pushed myself.  Although, Jimmy and I went out to dinner on Friday night...not the best idea.  It was one of those cases where I suddenly dive before the entree is brought out.  We were sitting in a booth, so I put my legs up on Jimmy's side and that helped a little.  When I am out of the house and dive, it is like a panic situation....just horrible.

On Saturday afternoon, I met my mother at the movie theater to see my friends movie, "The Might Macs" (my new nickname for my grandson Maks :)  It was a split second decision.  I had to get myself together and out of the house in a matter of minutes, to make it on time.  

It was a miserable rainy day.  When I went to leave, I realized that Jimmy had taken my handicap minivan to Ryan's.  OH NO....as much as I love to ride in his car as a passenger, driving it is a different story.  It has stick shift and I am not comfortable with that.  UGH - I was buck, buck, bucking every time the red light turned green.  Not to mention, it was raining and I had no idea how to work the windshield wipers ...and, my crazy new progressive lens glasses...every time I turned or tilted my head the tiniest bit, my vision was blurry/clear/blurry/clear/blurry/clear....but, nothing was going to get in my way of seeing this great movie!!!  As soon as it started, I had tears running down my face.  I know how big of a deal this was for the Chambers family.  I was so happy.  It had been five years, since they filmed.  Diane would call me all the time with updates from the set.  It was so exciting to see "Executive Producer...John Chambers" roll at the beginning of the movie.  I was filled with tears for most of this beautiful story.  I knew many of the people in the movie and it was such a thrill!!!!  I cannot wait for John and Diane to get back from Italy so I can gush, gush, gush!


That about did me in for Saturday.  Going to the movies is very hard on me.  In fact, I haven't done it in years.  I really need to be in the last row, since I have to fidget and put my legs over the seat in front of me.  Believe me, the hike up Mt. Everest to the last row is really hard.  It is just as hard, coming down the steps.  "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" ....I've been waiting five years for this day!  Diane said they were going to try to get me a copy of the film, so I could see it at home.  I'm so happy that I saw it on the big screen!

Today, I had an unexpected visit from Chris, Danielle and my sweeties!!!  There is nothing like it...so much fun!  Also, I stopped at Ry & Liz's to see how the paint looked and it looks beautiful!!  It is always fun to catch up in person! We are all excited for them to move in soon! If only I could have jumped in a helicopter to go see Phil on the ship :(

I want to go back to the acceptance of my daily struggles and the positive effect it has had on me.  Amazingly, it took over six years...SIX YEARS to cry UNCLE!  I'm not sure if there was one thing that pushed me over the edge, or if I was just tired of fighting.  Each and every day, for so many years, I would wake up in total disbelief that this was happening to me.  I guess I was afraid that if I admitted that "yes, this is happening to me", that there would never be a light at the end of the tunnel.  In a funny, round about way, accepting it is a light at the end of tunnel...just a different tunnel.  I'm hoping that everyone reading, that is also very ill, has also accepted their limitations.   


Being so sick for these past years has had a positive effect on my life.  I have learned so many life lessons, that I am not sure I would have ever learned.  It has brought about some changes that have actually made me think that getting sick is not necessarily a bad thing.  As I have these realizations, I try to be sure to pass them on.  I love passing them along, so some may learn along with me, without having to get sick...


...and that is why I am writing this blog....XO

Nothing much to say..

...especially, since I talked poor Ceal's ear off today.  SORRY CEAL!!!!!  One subject kept running and colliding with another, then another, then back to the original subject...I didn't come up for air!  For all I know, Ceal put down the phone, went for a walk, took a nap, ran to the store, then came home and picked up the phone and I was still going. I swear, it was like a couple hour run-on sentence, without commas.  Ceal got someone in to heaven today!  Thank God that "friend abuse" isn't a crime, because I would be sharing a cell with one of the Lohan's right about now....and talking to them too.

Anyway...I am really looking forward to meeting with the job coordinator that is coming to my house tomorrow morning.  One of the things I was telling Ceal today, was that while living in this cloistered life, I'm hoping there is a crack or crevice somewhere that I can slip through and be productive.  I kind of have to feel around in the dark to find it, but I am convinced it is there... somewhere.  There just has to be a use for me...in fact, I know there is. Unfortunately, knowing there is a use for me, and knowing how/where to find one, are two different stories.  I'm not expecting a miracle tomorrow, and I am expecting to hear that there isn't a fit for me.  The best I am hoping for, is that they remember me, if something does come along some day.  Time will tell.  The good news is that they know the degree of my debilitation, so I don't have to try to look or act like something that I am not these days.  I will no doubt "dive" during the two and a half  hour interview, but at least I can do whatever I need to, since I will be at home.

I had an unexpected QVC frenzy with Bobbi Brown the other day.  Such a joke to buy more make-up when I am rarely out of the house. I usually can't get beyond mascara, when I am putting on make-up.  I have to be having the best possible spell to go beyond that.  A person in solitary confinement with beautiful new make up?!?!.....I better get going to see if can still cancel these orders!  Hhhmmmm, my play list is now playing Coldplay's "Fix You"...maybe I shouldn't cancel.....I would do anything that Chris Martin tells me to do ;)

Oh well, another boring post, just stopped by because I am excited about tomorrow.  I'm going to be either very happy or very disgusted when it is over.......actually, I'll probably be neither, just collapsed in bed.  Speaking of.. I have to sleep tonight, so I am vertical and dressed for our 10:00 am appointment....see ya'

ps ~ So excited that Anya won on "Project Runway" tonight...love that show!  I want to lose all my weight, buy her collection and run away to an island....that's all........folks :)

Update ~ Ouch..it is almost 6:00 am and still no sleep!  My brain is going to have an "out of body" experience when this interviewer shows up....

Hi...Ho...It's Off To Work I Go (maybe)

Another sleepless night...almost 6:00 am.....so, you are stuck with me!  Today, I slowly recovered from yesterday and the weekend.  It was horribly rough, but today brought some high points and smiles ...those that are sick, do not lose sight of the non-nightmarish days...the unexpected, surprising smiles....even one or two can help forget about the previous day/days.

Speaking of smiles, Danielle and I had a talk a few weeks ago about this.  I told her that everyone smiles and thinks nothing of it.  With the turns my life has taken, I am so keenly aware each time I smile.  When I  smile, I think to myself how great it feels.  You kind of have to go to hell and back to fully appreciate your own smiles.  I absolutely love them, and never would have given them a second thought before I got sick...I smiled, so what????  I'll tell 'ya what - they are amazing!  I'm sure those of you that are also very sick, understand exactly what I am saying.

Jimmy and I had to go to pick up a new phone, for our bedroom.  I couldn't chance sending him alone to find a good one, knowing he would come home with two cans and a string.   As far as the latest "thangs" in TV's, phones, computers, etc., I am a complete Wilma Flintstone.  I have to say, Fred and I are really excited about our new phone..it's not even an elephant tusk.....it really doesn't take much these days.  I love it because it has bluetooth built in.  Now, when my cell phone rings, it rings on the house phone also. (you are all probably saying.."where has she been???") I much prefer to talk on the house phone, over the cell.  It must be because I am so far "over the hill", but I always move the pin dot of a hole that you hear out of, a quarter of an inch from my ear and wonder what happened to the other person on the line. Erica would say "okay Aunt Mary"!  So, I can say that was my highpoint of the day....jealous???  Not to mention, that my cell phone is no longer working, so at least I can receive cell calls on my new dandy house phone....yeah, I'm all that!  Next step ~ cellphone.  I hate going in to the Verizon store and will need the w/c for that - yuck!

I do have something exciting happening this Friday morning.  An organization that was developed to help chronically illl/disabled people find some/any type of work, is coming for an appointment.  I have been mentioning lately, that I need to find a way to work and contribute to our finances.  If you could see me, with my daily struggles both physically and cognitively, you would know that this is probably a waste of everyone's time.  

They will go through my health issues and symptoms with a fine tooth comb.  They will go through my previous work experience, talents and shortfalls with a fine tooth comb as well.  They try their best to find some type of work that I would be able to do at home.  The girl that I spoke with on the phone, felt strongly that I could make money with my blog....I'm not so sure about that, in my case.  So, it would be a miracle if something actually came of this, but I do not have anything to lose having them out.  Other than this, I have been at a total loss as to how I can bring in an income.  I'll no doubt be blogging after they come on Friday morning.....that is, unless I am busy ordering beautiful, professional suits(pj's) online for my new career!  This topic drives me insane.  There has to be someone, someplace that could use my help in some capacity....but the million dollar question is "what that would be?".  If only Broadway would read my blog :)

So, my point, in my usual long, round about way of telling stories, is that if any of you that are disabled/chronically ill and unable to work, please contact me.  I will give you more information about this organization.  Believe me, I know how frustrating it is to want so desperately to work, but be too sick to leave your home.  Hopefully, this team will think of something that I (we) haven't thought of yet.  It would be great to help some of you get on track.  Aside from the potential income, it would be amazing to actually feel like a productive member of society.  Fingers crossed that this leads to something.....

Another high point from my day today, is that I received a call from my sister-in-law.  It has been months since we have caught up.  There is always so much news!  It was such a treat and great hearing her voice.  When we hung up, she said that we'll cover part II in the next call.  There is definitely a part II waiting in the wings.  Hopefully, we'll get to continue our conversation soon.  At this point my most owed phone calls are to Ceal, Lisa, Kathy, Dina & Erica.  Now, they are the calls that destroy me, so I have to prepare myself for the aftermath...but it would be so worth it and I can't wait. After each of these calls, I always say "I should have made a drink or had a glass of wine for the visit".  I must remember to do that next time!! These calls give me such a lift.  Now I know how the guys at prison must feel when they get to make a call. As much as I hate the thought, I might have to start wearing (God forbid) horizontal stripes - black and white....and pick up my first harmonica...loverly...and, hey...I want to be paroled...

This was a pretty boring blog, sorry guys!  It was important for me to get the word out about the job placement setup for chronically ill people.  I couldn't keep that information to myself!

Well, right now, my playlist is playing "Helplessly Hoping"...that pretty much sums up my thoughts for Friday's appointment...stay tuned :)

and five, six, seven, eight....

Today was one of those days from hell...very bad.  Luckily, I was saved by Dancing With The Stars Broadway night!!  Woo Hoo!  A little "Jersey Boys". "Rent", "Chicago", "Cabaret"...gives my heart a jump start!  For the life of me, I can't imagine where I could have been when they called me?!?!? Maybe it was the day I was performing "Chicago" in the car on the way to Miami....razzle dazzling me, myself and I!

It was a busy weekend for me, by my standards.  So much fun, helping Ry & Liz pick out colors for their living room and bedroom.  OH, how bad I want to work again!!!  Of course, mid way, I had to lie on their floor.  I'm sure that my imaginary future clients would LOVE that!  There has to be a way I can generate an income.  One of these days, I'll be posting that I found a job that actually fits my horizontal life......there has to be something that would work for me, it is just a matter of having one of Oprah's AHA moments aka my head smacking moments....can't wait!  It WILL happen...you'll see! I hope these words taste good, because I'll probably end up eating them!

We also had unexpected company that had my adrenaline going through the roof! We all know what that leads to, but it is always worth the price I have to pay. Everything from this past weekend that caused my horrible crash and burn today was time well spent....without going in to detail, it is also liberating to have a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders that I have been carrying around.  Unfortunately, that loss of weight isn't reflected on the scale :(

I took my vicodin around an hour or so ago.  If I hadn't, I certainly wouldn't be on here.  It was about as bad as it can get today, the kind of day where the tears are so, so close to the surface....just from pain.  No doubt, it will be the same tomorrow....just happy I don't have to leave the house and I can work my way through my day in peace and quiet.....did I really say that????  Oh, I miss me so much!!!!!

I know this is a short one, and I have to get back to bed.  It would be perfect if I could telepathically blog....you know that kids song...."this is the song blog  that never ends, it goes on and on my friend.."  after seeing DWTS tonight, I'm ready for a Fosse inspired dance to that little ditty...one that never ends...

Geez, two blahgs in a row...'sup???

I think this is the third time in a row that I am writing, not expecting to actually post.  My body is aching so bad and I need to get in to bed.  Something compelled me to take the extra few minutes to write.  I can't imagine that it is going to be worth reading, but I'll give it a shot.

Since the post of October, 11, when I was so excited that I spoke with Diane Chambers and Rick Leonetti in the same day, I haven't be up to another "catch-me-up" phone call.  It really disturbs me that I am so out of touch with every single one of my friends....no exceptions. Hate that!!!  Unfortunately, with such long spells between calls, there is too much to talk about, by the time I do make the call.  It has to be a rare, perfect moment to have the mental strength and physical energy for this.  When I talk to these precious friends, I am so excited to hear what I had missed for the past several months...or longer.  I love to catch up on them, their families and talking about the good ol' times.  It takes the life out of me.  Anyway, as hard as it is to believe, everyday I hope to make a call.  I cannot wait for the next one!!  For me, it is like a vacation, ladies night, or just a normal persons thing to do.  

I had an appointment with a new cardiologist at Mt. Sinai Hospital in Miami.  This guy is at the top of his field and I am making a permanent switch to him.  He is going to be on top of my aneurysm, and bad aortic valve situation.  Our next appointment is in January.  At this point, my aneurysm is 4.4 cm and the surgery to disect the aorta, then re-attach it to my heart, along with replacing the valve is not imminent, which is good news.  Depending what is going on with my valve, the surgery will be done when it hits at 5 - 5.5 cm, depending on other factors.  It's funny, because I have no symptoms from this, and all of my debilitating issues are completely separate from this not so tasty icing on my cake.  At least for now, I can put this on the back burner and my head back in the sand, right where it belongs.....aaahhh, I like it in here..

A few posts ago, I wrote that I thought I was actually, FINALLY accepting my health issues and limitations.  It's been a few weeks since then, and I have to say that I do think I jumped that hurdle.  It is nice not to fret so much wondering "how can this be???"    I asked Martha Stewart what she thought, and she said "It's a good thing"...and, it is :)

Ry and Liz are working like crazy in their new home.  I absolutely love going over there and looking at the lake and pool - so serene!!!  Hopefully, they will be set up enough to move in soon.  Poor Ry has a torn meniscus.  Once he gets the MRI results, he'll have to go forward with one of  two surgeries....it's always something!!

A few days ago, Jimmy came home from work early.  We stopped over to see the kiddies!  My intent was to stay just a few minutes, because I couldn't deal with having a really rough night.  As it turned out, we ended up taking Brayden and Gabby to Steak 'n Shake, then to our house for an hour.  They are SO adorable!!!  Gabby had on her Cinderella dress, so we kind of stood out...not to mention, she had a few wardrobe malfunctions!  No matter how tired and sick I feel, they put such a smile on my face...many times accompanied by tears of joy....but, tears come really easily these days, almost all are happy ones.  Chris and Danielle have also been working really hard on the interior of their house.  It's been so long since I've been over, and was fun to see all they have accomplished... it looks beautiful!

While Phil is at sea, Laura moved in to a brand new townhome.  Phil is going to be thrilled to come home to such a nice house...hardwood floors (jealous!!), cherry cabinets and granite.  Wishing them all the happiness in the world in their new home. 

Speaking of Phil, I hear from him on a regular basis and I LOVE getting his letters.  He is such a sweetheart ....what?? ...he is my son??? Oh, I would have said that anyway :)  Unfortunately, he cannot divulge anything about where they are and what they have been up to. Looking forward to hearing his new stories.  The stories from the last time out were great! 

I do have to mention my girlfriends amazing mail order/online order....SOON TO BE ON QVC ORDER, company, "Full Spirited Flavours".  ..AMAAAAZING (opera voice)!!!  Carole just sent me their new sampler petite cakes....here are the flavors....chocolate cake with raspberry liqueur, along with chocolate chunks and a raspberry liqueur glaze......amaretto with chocolate pieces, infused with an amaretto glaze and topped with toasted almonds......Limoncello Cake....yellow cake made with limoncello liqueur and lightly embellished with white chocolate pieces..DID I SAY AMAZING??....Mango Coconut Rum Cake... bits of mango, infused with coconut rum glaze, with shreds of coconut...AMAZING~AMAZING!!!   Their website is www.fullspiritedflavours.com.  This is a great gift idea for the holidays, or to have at your own holiday party.  Like I have said before when bragging about my talented friends, I would NOT write about this if these cakes weren't truly amazing.  I never appreciate the flavor of liquor in my desserts...that's just my preference.  When I received my first cake from Carole, I was ...again the word of the day...AMAZED!  You can taste the liquor, but I suspect there is a lot of butter also (the Sherlock in me), which diffuses the heavy liquor taste.  The liquor flavor is not intense and you can taste all the delicious fresh ingredients that they put in to these gems.  You will be hearing more when Carole is scheduled for QVC.  I believe she goes in next week for presentation training....I'll tell you what...I should be there, not Carole!!!  I could talk for hours about these delicious treats...no really, I could :)  They would have to get one of those giant hooks to get me off of the set...or maybe hit the "gong" !!!  In the end, it would be almost impossible to pick a favorite, but the Limoncello is out of this world...but then, so are the others....  Go ahead and treat yourselves and your friends...you will be thanking me...and, Carole, of course!!  I'm "you're welcome-ing" you in advance!

Well, I do have more to talk about, but I have been upright too long...not taking the time to proof read this one, it is what it is!  Time for bed....I'll be back soon!

XO

Playlist alert....This one is for Patty Bagnell..."Hello It's Me" just came on.  After your recent letter, this will always remind me of you....sweet dreams Pearl ;)

Blaaahhhhg

Here I go again...wondering why I am writing when there is no news...oh, I forgot, that means good news, right????  

So, where was I???  Oh yes, talking about keeping in touch with everyone.  It's only been a few days, since I last posted.  Since I wrote about keeping in touch, it has been on my mind, morning, noon and night.  It astounds me that I very rarely feel up to a call.  With my issues, my brain just doesn't have the strength to follow along in a conversation or even care about it, for that matter.  I swear, I can actually feel the strain, mentally.  Luckily, all days are not like that, but most are.  When I am lucky enough to have a better day, my million dollar question is "To call or not to call"...or take advantage of that rare decent hour here and there to actually break out of this joint!  Both are desperately needed when the moment hits.  It seems that I usually opt for getting on the other side of my front door.  Every day, my goal is to make a call.  If I could get one or two in per week, that would be great! I cannot wait for the next one...don't forget to check your caller ID, because when I am ready, I AM READY!!!  You might not want to answer!

I felt bad today after talking to my son, Chris.  Danielle had an appt to get her hair "did" by "our guy Lou" (he is the BEST)...anyway, something came up and she had to reschedule.  There wasn't an available babysitter.  Chris knew not to bother asking me to come over.  While we were talking, I was thinking "could I have done it???", plus I would love to help out.  I had to face the fact that I cannot babysit for these little sweethearts.  It seems like I have been asking myself "could I" a lot over the past year or so.  It is hard to face the undeniable truth... it is impossible.  UGH!!!!  I would love to be available to help out, and get some "sugar" while doing so.  I really do not like facing facts!  As of today, I guess I can say that I officially accepted this one....gulp...

Today, I went a little overboard....actually, more like "man overboard".  I knew I was pushing myself too hard and that the price would be hefty.  It is like purposely driving through a red light during rush hour.  I had some different things thawing in the refrigerator.  Once meat thaws out, I HAVE to cook it that day.  As it turned out, I had a few things thawed at once.  I ended up making a really good chicken stock, for soup tomorrow night, a pot of spaghetti sauce with meatballs and big chunks of pork, then a little pork roast and mashed potatoes that we had for dinner.  When Jimmy came home from work, our kitchen looked a little like the "Golden Corral", if you remember that story!  I wanted to call my parents and invite them over to eat with us tonight, but knew that wasn't an option.  I was horribly sick throughout this cook-off.  By the time dinner came, I wouldn't have been up to any conversation at all, not to mention I HAD to eat dinner in bed.  It was bad, groaning in pain bad :(  I do know better, but did it anyway.  Thank God I have vicodin, because I needed a double dose.  I held off as long as possible, before taking it.  When I do, it is just like medicine....imagine that!

I recently heard from Phil (he is at sea), and he told me that they are moving in a week or so.  They are renting a really nice, brand new house.  I'm looking forward to getting some pictures.  Laura, with the help of friends, will be moving while Phil is on the boat.  I know Phil will be so excited when he gets back and sees his new home.  We are hoping to get up to visit Phil and Laura ...or should I say, hoping for a miracle...I wish we lived on 34th St, rather than 39th Ct!

Hhhmmm, this is really a boring blahg (wink, wink Ry), but I am going to post it anyway!  It is almost 2:00 am and I think I actually might get some sleep.....good night...

Oh, there goes Frank Sinatra again...Ry & Liz :)

Ring...Ring......"Yellow???"

I am too tired to write, but it's been a few days, so here goes....

Today was so much fun!  I had a great time talking (I not we) to Diane Chambers today.  I don't want to think about how long it has been.  Ooohhh, I hate being so detached from such special friends because of my health....breaks my heart.  Anyway, it was so funny, for those that know me well, because Diane happened to be with Erica when I called...double hitter. Erica and I weren't able to talk ...but, it was still fun hearing her voice in the background!

Here comes a major promotion for an upcoming movie!  Diane's husband, and my special boyfriend, John, is one of the executive producers of "The Mighty Macs"...coming to a theater near you :)....10/21!  John's brother Tim Chambers wrote and directed the film approximately three years ago.  Ellen Burstyn, Carla Gugino and David Boreanaz are in the movie....being billed under my friend Diane!!  Diane was an extra as a nun and fan in the bleachers.  It is a true story about the girls bb team from Immaculata college in '71 or '72.  It is one of those great feel good movies like "Rudy" and "Miracle", which Tim was also involved in.  The premier is this Friday night at the Kimmel Center.  It is going to be an amazing night for the entire Chambers family.  I am going to go bananas when I see it!  Diane's son and daughter, as well as others that I know are also in it.  I couldn't be happier for all of them.  Treat yourself and go see this beautiful and moving movie.  If you google "The Mighty Macs", you can see the trailer.

Aside from all of that excitement, it was just great to hear Diane's voice and get caught up, w/o the use of the computer!!  Oh happy days!!!

Not long after I spoke with Diane, I heard from another of my special boyfriends , Rick Leonetti.  It has been a very sad time for the Leonetti family.  Rick's mom, Carmel, passed away recently.  It was wonderful to hear from Rick.  I told him that he comforted me as opposed to the other way around.  Mrs. Leonetti, aka Carmel Candy, was the sweetest woman you could ever meet.  I knew that Rick gave the eulogy at the funeral mass and wondered how he would be up to such a thing. (so sad that I wasn't able to attend)  Today he told me that when he got up to the pulpit, he asked everyone to stand and give a standing ovation for his mom.....so beautiful!!!    Mrs. Leonetti deserved it...she was just that special.    It was a love fest for me on the phone today. 

If only I could have kept on going in touching base with all my most special friends and family.  Maybe, I'll try to sneak a call in each day, regardless of how I feel.  Who am I kidding???? It is always SOOOOO easy to say that before the fact.  There is a reason I cannot keep in touch.  It is too draining and hard to keep up with the conversation, when I am already very sick.  Alrighty then, I'll revise my new plan. I'll try to make my calls on the days that I am up to it....I cannot lose touch with my precious friends that I have meticulously accumulated over my entire lifetime.  They were hand picked using my crazy strict criteria and care ... sounds like a Welch's commercial!  I love my grapes...they're a great bunch...

For those of you that are also very sick, it is most definitely worth the effort to push yourself to stay in touch with your closest friends and family members.  I know, all to well, how easy it is to say, "I just cannot do it".  Although that may be the case for most days, there are exceptions....thank God!  Make that call ~ there is nothing like it for sickies like us.  It really is like medicine. you will feel like your old self...even if just for a short time. Isolating yourself and inching away from everyone is so easy, under these circumstances. It happens so slow, over months and years, that you don't even realize it is happening.  Before you know it, you have detached yourself from those that do not want to be detached from you.  Be conscious of this and do your best to be available when you can, whether by phone, e-mail or even a visit.

Even though it is no longer yesterday, now that it is 2:00 am, I have to say a big, fat HAPPY SECOND ANNIVERSARY  to Ryan and Liz!!!  They are an amazing couple that were born to be together.  I'm so happy for this special, special day for them both.  Not to mention, they will settle on their beautiful new home, in Coral Springs, on Wednesday!!!  SO happy for them...we all are! (this is starting to sound like the very "amusing" letters that often accompany Christmas cards...so sorry :)

The songs that have played from my playlist, as I have been about to sign off lately, have been eerily appropriate...sounds made up, but it has been a series of strange coincidences...I'm not complaining :)


I was about to sign off just now, and the Frank Sinatra song that Ry & Liz danced to at their wedding...exactly two years ago... played, then when that was over, "You Raise Me Up" played :*(....Since I was too sick to attend the wedding, that is the song my mother danced to, with Ry, for the "Mother/Son Dance"........it is hard to type through tear filled eyes...better get going....love to you all XOXO

Nice People are Nice : )

The difference in the impact of having to deal with a nice person vs. a not so nice person is dramatic.  A nice person can totally turn my mood around....it's so simple.  Recently, I had three MRI's at the University of Miami, on Thursday, Friday and Monday. The staff at their MRI center is amazing.  I am in and out of doctor's offices all the time. If I deal with one nice doctor, nurse or receptionist at a visit, I am practically skipping out of the office...although that is a stretch....but, I am in my mind!  To be honest, they usually act like they are paying me...not exactly warm and fuzzy.

Maybe I am expecting too much, but these appointments are as close as I get to a social life these days...partaaay!  Obviously, I don't expect them to make me a martini and say "So, what's goin' on Cathy???" ....although, a girl can dream.....hiccup...boy this dream feels real...where did the waitress go????

The appointments are physically hard on me and I dread each and every one.  Because of this, I am miserable on appointment days.....so, back to the UM MRI center.  I swear a celebrity wouldn't have received any better treatment.  The receptionist and technicians were so incredibly kind, I hated to leave....almost!  I know that everyone that goes in for an MRI isn't necessarily "sick".  However, when you are sick, and getting to appointments is a grind, being greeted by smiling faces definitely lightens things up. There are no words to tell you how much I do appreciate a smile from anyone from the receptionist on up to the doctor.  I would hope that they teach kindness and compassion at medical/nursing schools.  I guess I wish they could walk a mile in my flip flops....for a Camel...just kidding, for a Vicodin...just kidding....for a Lychee Martini...hey, I'm not a kidder!

Basic kindness should be the norm, not the exception...everywhere, not just at doctor's offices and hospitals. Although, a cold, detached reception at a health care facility is absurd...in my opinion.  Obviously, they are all not like that, but most really are.  Through the years, I have said that it has to take more energy to maintain a stone face when dealing with others, than it would to smile and be kind...not to mention, that kindness is most definitely contagious :) 

Obviously, they knew me by the third MRI at UM.   When Jimmy and I arrived and found out that they were actually running ahead of schedule, I made a complete fool out of myself ....clapping and saying "Goody, Goody, Goody".....UGH...who says that???????  I was so comfortable, since having just been there twice...they felt like friends.   My family and friends have heard me say that a trillion times.  Anyway, at least I didn't clap and say "Hercules..Hercules..".(I will have to explain that to my parents!)  I don't realize how I talk and sound, but for some reason, the "Goody, Goody, Goody" tapped me on the shoulders around fifteen minutes after I said it and I cringed..... well, that's what they get for being so sweet.  

Today, I went to the Cleveland Clinic for a CT scan of my achy breaky heart.  The guy that greeted me was such a scrooge.  I couldn't believe how unfriendly he was.  So, I decided that I would not say "thank you" to him when we were through (remember that I am miserable going to every appointment)....but, it slipped out.  The technician was strictly business and rather cold too...'sup?????  

Okay, a new idea for my reinvention.....giving seminars to doctors, nurses and everyone in the medical field, including receptionists.  I would love to tell it how I see it.  It takes so little to make a not so great experience palatable...SO LITTLE!  Of course, my daughter-in-law, Liz, wouldn't need to come to the seminar...or the Fenyus girls...

I guess all I really wanted to say today, is that if you have the opportunity to treat a stranger with subtle kindness and warmth, please do...we're all strangers to someone...it can turn a random encounter, in to a change in attitude for that persons day.....and hopefully, they will pay it forward.  They might even say "Goody, Goody, Goody" :)  they meaning me