Enter at your own risk...

From the start of the blog last week, I decided that I would not get too heavy, regarding my health issues.  I knew you all had the gist and didn't feel the need to elaborate.

Today I am writing a totally selfish post and I apologize. I would talk to Jimmy, because I desperately need him to help me.  I am avoiding conversation, since I know I would burst in to tears and, not to mention, he could not do a single thing to help, nor do I have the strength for conversation.   This upsets him as much as it does me.  If I thought I could get help at the hospital, I would be at the ER right now.

As of a few hours ago, I hit one of my worst of the worst spells. These can last anywhere from hours to weeks.  It us unbearable.  My body feels like it is being eaten alive, from the inside out, head to toe.  It is a horrifying and scary feeling that I will never get used to.  I have so many other symptoms going on at the same time.  They are running rampant throughout my body right now, and it is a living hell.

In a previous post, I mentioned that I have at least five active viruses that became part of my DNA.  In more advanced cases, such as mine, the symptoms can be the same as an HIV patient, within two days of death.  That is exactly how I feel.  I only wish I could have the advantage of someone administering morphine to get me through this nightmare.

Again, I am sorry for spilling this ugly side of what I am going through. I never expected get in to the true miserable details.  I just needed to scream out to the world that this is more than I can handle.

I will hold off posting, until I can do so in a more uplifting way.  Hopefully, it will be sooner rather than later.