It is hard to believe that I haven't written in three weeks. Time and time again, I come on and say how much I do not want to complain...endlessly. These days, if I weren't writing about how things are honestly going, this page would be blank. Did that sentence make sense??? I don't think it did.
So, as you have probably guessed, it has been insanely bad for the last several months. UGH!! Since getting sick, my worst spell lasted around nine months and it straddled right over Ryan and Liz's wedding, which was almost three years ago. Everyone that knows me, knows that I was unable to make the trip to Lancaster and missed their wedding. Oh, my eyes are brimming with tears just thinking about that day.....sooo, anyway, I was horribly sick. At some point, I gradually improved somewhat. The last several months have put me back in that same, horrible condition. I just cannot believe how much worse I am.
What I am going through now is really unbearable and so hard to describe. I usually tell friends/family to think of how you feel when you have the worst case of the flu ever, when you have to get in bed and you can't believe how sick you are. Every muscle hurting, horrible nausea, too sick to think...it's kind of like that, and most times much worse, with no end. Obviously, you wouldn't be making calls and catching up, or even answering e-mails. I have to laugh when I think of the old Bette Davis movies, when she was dying. They had her in a beautiful silk nightgown and robe, sitting up in her beautiful canopy bed, with silky blankets and pillows...of course, full hair and make up and a non stop stream of well wishers stopping in to see her...and she still managed to get in trouble! If only that's what "stuck in bed" looked like!
I read my last post, to bring myself up to date :)...In it, I mentioned that I would be scheduling an appointment with that great neurologist, at Mayo/Jacksonville. As hard as this would be for a well person to imagine, I haven't been up to making that call. There are a few other calls I need to make, doctor/health related, and I just can't seem to be clear headed enough during business hours. Many days, I don't get to sleep until the sun comes up, then I end up sleeping well in to the afternoon. Every single day, I tell myself, definitely tomorrow....tomorrow, tomorrow....I'll call 'ya tomorrow, it's only a day away..speaking of, my hair is looking like Annie's, but that's another story...
I don't know what is going on with my muscles. It is much more than fatigue/weakness. Earlier today, when it was especially bad, I felt like something was going on, deep in my muscles that causes the fatigue/weakness. I've been trying to explain this for years. It was kind of like a revelation when it hit me, and will better help me explain this particular symptom when I go to Mayo. Regarding my muscles, I usually just tell the doctors about the extreme weakness and fatigue, but it really is much more than that and hard to articulate.
I have a few appointments coming up soon. If anything earth shattering comes up, I'll post about it. I dread appointment days! They take so much out of me.
Poor/Saint Jimmy will be going home next week and I am SO jealous!!! My brother has great tickets for the Phillies. Jimmy will get to see the new (to us) Phil's stadium. We have heard that it is beautiful! My father is going up with him. Hopefully, they will have perfect weather for the game. He'll also get to spend time with his brother, Dave and Geri. I know he is going to have the best time catching up with our nephews and niece too. Oh, I want to go too...so much it hurts.
So, even though I won't be going, I'm really happy for Jimmy. I know it is going to be the perfect getaway...in fact, I should check to see if he has a return flight!
Tomorrow (Sat.), we'll be going to Chris and Danielle's to celebrate my grandson's second birthday! Unfortunately, I was too sick to go to Brayden's in June, and hoping for the best for Maks' party. I have to go and get me some sugar! The last time I saw them, Brayden (five years old) told me to text him the next time I have popcorn...he is so funny! If I do go, and get horribly sick tomorrow night, which is expected, it is another case where it is so worth it. I need to grab on to the brass ring whenever possible.
I wish I felt well enough to post twice per week. Since it has been almost three weeks, and before paying the piper for Maks' birthday party, I thought I would squeak this one out. Back to bed to play my turn in a few Words With Friends games I have going on, then hoping to get to sleep soon.
Before I go, I have to say that I am super excited. I rarely buy lottery tickets, but I have two for tomorrow night. I am expecting to win, so expect an announcement in my next post! In day dreaming about what I would do with $150,000,000, I realized that, in the end, I would still be as sick as I am, with as little "life" as I have...that stinks. Jimmy could quit his job and golf, as the Beatles would say, "Eight Days A Week". So, looking forward to picking up the check...I think I'll be feeling pretty good that day!
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