The doctor says to...

...put the lime in the coconut, mix it all up.  I think that is the one thing I haven't tried....and I think I would like that doctor.

Over the past several weeks, I feel like I have been doing nothing but sing the blues.  Honestly, that is the last thing I want to do...especially on such a regular basis.  In an effort to keep this honest and true, I have decided to just tell it like it is, hoping better times are just around the corner, especially once the lime and coconut take effect.


A few posts ago, I spoke about that horrible appointment I had with my Neurologist.  It was outrageous and left me shocked.  He clearly seemed to be dealing with some type of mental issue, from his constant contradictions and telling me that he thinks I am mentally ill for wanting to be diagnosed?!? He said he would not want a diagnosis. The worst, was when he walked me to the receptionists desk and told me that I would talk to him differently, if I knew what was going on in his private life.  Since then, we had a phone call to discuss a test, and he was manic and not making sense, sounding like a little boy with a great new idea.  He had two of my issues confused, and I didn't bother correcting him.  


My friend Vicki waited eight long years to finally get her diagnosis of MS.  Like the rest of us, she spent eight years going from doctor to doctor, each time hoping this will be the "one".  During one of her appointments, pre-diagnosis, she was upset and telling the doctor her symptoms...which are scary.  He actually burst out laughing at her. Vicki's husband was so upset, he called the president of the hospital and he in turn had the doctor call Vicki to apologize. Needless to say, Vicki didn't go back.  Without asking, I know Vicki has many more similar stories, as would my friend Shari. It comes with the territory of chronic illness.


As much as I dreaded the thought of seeing a new doctor, I knew I couldn't stay with this guy.  I decided to see a Neurologist that I had seen when I first got sick, seven years ago.  To say that he is icy cold is an understatement.  Not knowing where else to go, I thought I would give him one more shot....  especially, since I have had more things diagnosed since our last visit, several years ago.  UGH!!!!  Big mistake! He was so dismissive...something you would have to see to believe. My reason for seeing him was to get back to working on what happened with my immune system seven years ago that kicked things off and continue to worsen.  He told me that maybe I should lose weight...or take a walk...if I am depressed, maybe I should take medication.  It was UNBELIEVABLE!!!!  It was sickening from beginning, through our five minute discussion, to the end.


If any of you have seen Mystery Diagnosis, you would know what I am talking about.  They had so many episodes, with patients desperate as I am, being told the exact same things.  Unfortunately, for most of the patients from the show, it took them many years to finally find someone to listen. Sadly, that is the norm for patients like myself. 


Now I am in a position of not having a Neurologist. I have so few options.  It is most definitely true that the worst doctors are indeed in Florida.  I wish I could snap my fingers (two snaps and a circle) and be back at the University Of Pennsylvania, where all my doctors were prior to moving. I saw several specialists and they were all amazing, brilliant and cared.   As much as I would love to go up, it is too complicated, for many reasons. I don't see that happening, at least for the time being. 


Several years ago, I saw a woman at the Mayo Clinic/Jacksonville.  She was around my age and very bright.  She didn't have luck in figuring out my puzzle, but it wasn't for lack of trying. When I left her office, she asked me to call her when I get my answer.  She knew it was something, but couldn't identify it.  Since that visit, I have had new positive test results and diagnoses of addition problems. I believe they are stemming off of my original problem from seven years ago, which continues to this day.  I expect to set up an appointment on Monday. I am sure it wouldn't be for a few months.  That will give me time to see if I can come up with an alternate plan.  


This process, after seven years, is exhausting and disheartening.  As much as I want to wave the white flag, I am holding off for now. This is another post that will be understood by my sick friends..for my well friends, I hope you have taken a speed reading course!  I decided not to dwell on the extent of my symptoms...you're welcome!


On the flip side of "Lady Sings the Blues", is my visit with my precious little grandchildren the other day.  I could just look at their sweet little faces for hours and hours.  They are all such love bugs, so affectionate and loving. I love them to pieces! I know it sounds so cheesy and cornball, but they really do make my heart smile...really, they do! I would give absolutely anything to be able to pick them up and take them to the beach or park, visit to my parents, stop for ice cream of course, then back to my house for a sleepover.  That is what my dreams are made of...which reminds me...back to bed...


I was on the phone with Ceal the other day.  She was telling me that she enjoys my blog, and laughing saying that it is a lot different than the letters I sent to her from Long Beach Island and she sent me from Cape May when we were in seventh and eighth grade.  Ceal reminded me that I ended every letter with a huge S, with three small lines coming off of it...Sorry So Sloppy...and I told Ceal that I never mention "boys" in my blog...wha' happened??  I liked my old letters better!  Since, I'm not bothering to proof read this, one more time, I can say....Sorry So Sloppy :)